Page 46 of Never Leave Me
“If you won’t allow me to visit my sister, then at least let me send her news of my safe arrival.”
He turned to go. “You will see her erelong. We shall visit Chesterfield Park as soon as we are wed. I believe Lord Durham will have more incentive to give me access to the holy water if he knows doing so will protect his family.”
When the door closed behind Lord Worth, her knees gave way, and she slid against the wall to the floor. She shuddered and drew the sheet around her. None of the servants moved. None came to her aid. None even dared look at her.
Were they as trapped as she was in a life they hadn’t chosen? Were they prisoners in this nightmare too?
Suddenly all she could think about was Harrison and his kisses and how tender he’d been with her. The last night in Saint Lucia, he’d been debonair with his hair slicked back, his clean shave, and his crisp white dress shirt contrasting with the dark suit. When theFletchers had started teasing him about kissing her, she’d sensed he was growing agitated and hadn’t wanted to take advantage of her.
Why had she kept him from leaving the table? Why had she initiated a kiss?
She hadn’t wanted to think about her motives, had wanted to believe she was influenced by the Fletchers’ talk of kissing, was stirred by the romantic setting.
But had she only been denying the attraction to Harrison that had been building all through the weekend? Perhaps had even been growing long before that?
No matter what excuses she came up with, the kisses that last evening together had shaken her, had stirred in her something she wanted again. With him.
She didn’t know what it was exactly, but after facing Lord Worth and his ugly threats, her desire for Harrison was sweet and keen. If only she’d made the time and effort to explore what had been happening between them instead of running from it.
Now she’d never know.
12
ELLENCOULDN’TEATa bite of the roasted sparrow with baked quince on the pewter plate before her. Even if the fare had been remotely appealing, she wasn’t hungry. She hadn’t been all day.
Unfortunately, the dinner consisted of three courses, each having several dishes, mostly boiled or baked meats covered in rich sauces and accompanied by leeks, fennel, and other vegetables she wasn’t accustomed to eating. She felt as though she’d been served three entirely different meals, the last one having a dessert of spiced baked apples and plum compote.
The candles in silver settings cast a haunted ocher over the now-empty platters, ewers, and basins. The enameled silver-gilt goblets contained a warm red wine that one of the other women had called hippocras.
Around her, the great hall’s plastered walls were draped with embroidered panels—most of which seemed to depict gruesome war scenes: swords thrust through bloody bodies, severed heads, injured warhorses, and arrows flying through the air as well as protruding from wounded warriors.
The floor was covered with patterned tiles with a fire in the middle raised on flagstones. Simple but sturdy trestle tables and benches formed two lines along the length of the room. At the far end, she was surprised to see the same curio cabinet that had been in the present-day Reider Castle, except this one was void of glass doors and instead had wooden panels that closed off the contents inside.
“Nicholas has come at last.” The woman sitting next to Ellen spoke in a breathy whisper that resembled a grateful prayer. Lady Theresa. Ellen knew nothing but the woman’s name. And the fact that she liked the honey-crusted almonds and hazelnuts in the bowl placed between them. Sweetmeats, Lady Theresa had called them.
Lady Theresa eagerly watched a newcomer who had paused at the table nearest the double doors of the great hall, a young man attired in chain mail, his dark hair tousled but pulled back in a ponytail, and his profile strong and regal. Two wolflike, long-legged dogs had come out from beneath tables to greet the knight, who affectionately patted each of the dogs’ heads.
For the first time, Lady Theresa smiled, giving a glimpse of the once-beautiful woman she’d likely been, now hidden behind a sallow complexion, too-thin cheeks, and a jaundiced hollowness around her eyes.
Lord Worth’s loud conversation came to a halt. He was seated at a prominent table at the head of the room, his attention arrested upon the newcomer as well. His countenance, however, was much less welcoming than Lady Theresa’s.
As Ellen had done at least a hundred times since arriving, she pinched herself through her gown in an attempt to wake herself from the coma.This is only a dream, she silently chanted.
Except in dreams, she didn’t feel the coarse scratchiness of a heavy wool skirt against her legs or the snugness of the bodice. The maidservant had tied the side laces tightly, forcing her bosomupward and revealing far too much cleavage. In addition, the sleeves coiled against her arm, restricting her movement so that she couldn’t even lift a hand to scratch her head, which was crowned with a tight circlet woven with dangling ribbons.
If dreaming, then surely she wouldn’t hear the minstrel plucking at the pear-shaped lute, the soft tones similar to those of a guitar. Every time she glanced at the minstrel’s fingers flying across the strings on the neck, she pictured Harrison’s long fingers on his violin when she’d watched him standing and playing with joyous abandon the morning after his healing.
No, everything and everyone were much too real, including Lord Worth. In the dim lighting of the spacious room, his eyes and hair were obsidian. He was attired in a bold-patterned, tight-fitting coat that buttoned up the front. It fell to his midthighs, thankfully, since his pants consisted of hose sculpted to his thick legs, showing every bulge.
Although he hadn’t spoken to her since the encounter earlier in the day, he had been watching her throughout the various courses. In fact, his chair at the table on the raised dais was angled so that he could see her every move. Had he planned it that way? So he could discover more about her? Lust over her exposed flesh? Or both?
She tried to pretend she didn’t care, but the more he watched, the more caged she felt, as if she were a rare animal on display at a zoo, needing to be tamed and trained. The other ladies around her had made small talk, but they, too, held themselves rigidly, as though their behavior was being graded and that any offense would be disciplined later.
The truth pulsed harder with every passing moment, the truth that she wouldn’t be able to awaken herself to escape from this strange reality and get away from Lord Worth. She would have to find another way.
But how? She couldn’t just walk out. Not even under cover ofdarkness. The gatehouse was locked tight, and guards were posted around the walls.
Lady Theresa sat up straighter as the newcomer started down the great hall. The man’s stride was purposeful and confident, the sheathed sword at his side bumping against the metal rings of his long chain mail shirt.
