Page 55 of Waiting for the Rancher
His thoughts had been running away from him so wildly that he’d finally made plans with Tanner to go home. And it was a good thing he had, because the last morning, when she’d walked into his room all beautiful and fresh and like sunshine, he’d been tempted again to pull her down onto the bed and kiss her until they were both breathless.
He hadn’t expected Hazel to care quite so much that he was returning home or to insist on coming with him. He’d thought they’d go back to their relationship the way it had always been—being friends and coworkers. At least, until his friendship with Sterling was solid and he was able to have another conversation with his friend.
But her words from that morning echoed in his head again as they had all week.I thought we were starting to care about each other. I thought you wanted to be with me... like I want to be with you.
She’d wanted to be with him.
Her words had tugged at the desire within him then and did so again now.
With each passing day, all the reasons for leaving her seemed flimsier, and he was beginning to realize how rash he’d been, how impetuous, how foolhardy. Once again.
With a sigh, he twirled a piece of straw between his teeth. He should have talked to her more, maybe tried to explain how he was feeling, even if it was embarrassing to admit how much he craved her. And he should have figured out a way to tell her about Sterling’s ultimatum without causing angst between the brother and sister.
Now, instead of things returning to normal, maybe he’d ruined things between himself and Hazel, and he didn’t know how he could keep on going without trying to repair their relationship.
He tossed the straw to the ground and started toward the exit with his cane thumping in the hay. He had to ride over to the Noble Ranch today. He wasn’t gonna do anything else until he saw her and made sure she was all right.
With uneven steps, he made it halfway across the haymow before he stopped. What was he thinking? He couldn’t go. He slapped a hand to his forehead then pivoted and stalked back the way he’d come.
Her last words came rushing back to him:You can push me away again. But next time you feel attraction surfacing, please just leave me alone. I won’t be interested.
She wanted him to leave her alone. She wasn’t gonna be interested in him anymore. And she was making that mighty clear with her absence.
“Maverick?” Clarabelle paused in grooming the mare in the stall across from him. With the gate open, she stood beside a chestnut Morgan, her brush suspended, her wide green eyes upon him.
His sisters had been helping in the mare barn during Hazel’s absence. But it had been a strain on both of them with all their other responsibilities, especially since Ma’s care continued to grow more demanding.
Clarabelle’s face was shadowed with dark circles under her eyes, and she bit back a yawn. “With all the pacing and muttering, you look like you’re going mad.”
“I am going mad.” He limped back the way he’d come, his steps slower than usual. But he was thankful he was walking at all and that the pain from the pinched nerve wasn’t as debilitating when he was up as it was when he was resting.
“Because you miss the woman you love?” Clarabelle’s comment was tentative. The more naturally reserved of his sisters, Clarabelle didn’t often speak her mind.
But it was clear Clarabelle had figured out how much he cared about Hazel—like Tanner had, and probably like everyone had. Maverick reckoned there was no sense in denying it. “Yep, I’m missing her something fierce.” He was missing her more than fiercely, but he didn’t know how else to describe the ache inside.
Clarabelle was brushing the mare again, but she smiled at him over her shoulder, her blond-red hair coiled into a fashionable knot making her look older and more mature than her nineteen years. “I don’t know what you did to push her away, but it looks like you have some work to do to win her back.”
“Didn’t mean to push her away.”
“It’s obvious you did anyway.”
Maverick halted again, swiped off his hat, and jammed his fingers into his hair. He’d been a fool to walk away from Hazel. “I was just trying to keep the peace with Sterling. That’s all.”
Clarabelle laughed softly, as if he’d told a joke. “You’re willing to give up Hazel in order to keep your friend?”
Was that what he was doing?
“If the roles had been reversed,” Clarabelle continued while she groomed the mare, “Sterling would have abandoned you in a heartbeat for Violet. He wouldn’t have looked back.”
Even though Maverick didn’t want to admit it, he knew Clarabelle was right. Because essentially, that’s what Sterling had done at the wedding. He’d abandoned their friendship for Violet.
Maverick twisted at his cane, leaning on it heavily, feeling the pinch in his back. “Just because Sterling doesn’t have the same loyalty to me, doesn’t mean I should give up my loyalty to him.”
Clarabelle met his gaze with her clear one that was full of wisdom, just like Ma’s had always been. “Your friendship with Sterling is a gift, and you should keep on being a good friend to him. But the woman you love needs to take priority over anyone else. That’s just the way it has to be, Mav.”
Maverick swallowed a strange sense of panic that began to swell. As much as he appreciated Sterling and their long history, his loyalty had to switch to Hazel now. She was his priority, the love of his life, the only one he truly wanted.
“I’ve made a mess of things.” He released an exasperated sigh. “Seems I’m good at that.”
