Page 27 of Only for You
“I’ve hurt you, Gabby,” Killian continued in that ruined, but lovely voice, steadily approaching her. “And it’s going to take a long time before I can forgive myself for that. I know I’ve never been good with pretty words, but for you, I’ll try.”
He neared the bar, and Wendy and Janelle scrambled out of the way, making room for him. If her heart wasn’t cracking down the middle, she might’ve found it comical.
“You were always the best part of me. If you didn’t know that, then it was my fault because I should’ve told you every day. Making sure you knew how important you were to me should’ve been my first priority, my job. You told me I wasn’t a monster. That’s because of you—you were my conscience, my humanity, my heart. If it weren’t for you, I might’ve become something unrecognizable, but you reminded me every day who I was… Loved.”
This isn’t fair.For someone who believed he didn’t have lovely words, he was apparently a fast learner and doing a bang-up job.You were always the best part of me.She blinked against the sting of tears, ordering herself not to let one drop spill over. If he believed that, then why had he pushed her away? Why hadn’t he wanted to love her again? Her heart refused to stop adoring him—it would sooner cease beating. But her mind… What if they were just pretty words, and one day he decided forgiveness was beyond him? That loving her was a mistake?
I don’t know if I’m that brave.
Silence filled the room, and she could feel the eyes on them. Hear the soft sighs of the women, and the rumbled approval from her uncle. But only Killian filled her vision.
Killian’s bright hazel eyes, hot and focused on her.
Killian’s firm, unsmiling mouth and the small cut on the corner of his bottom lip.
Killian’s big body, tight with tension.
Braced for rejection.
“Uncle Garret,” she whispered.
But in the utter stillness of the bar, he must’ve clearly heard her, because he yelled out, “Yeah, Gabby.”
“Can we borrow your office for a minute?” she asked.
He snorted. “It better be only for a minute. Don’t make me have to come knocking. And Killian Vincent?”
Killian turned and faced her uncle. “Yes, sir?”
“You hurt my girl again, and old and feeble-minded or not, I’ll whip your ass before God gets the news, you understand me?”
“Uncle Garret,” Gabriella hissed, mortified.Jesus Christ.
“I understand,” Killian replied, and though his shoulders didn’t shake, she caught the vein of humor in his voice.
“Killian.” She reached across the bar and touched his arm. “Could we take this to a more private place?”
He nodded, and moments later they headed toward her uncle’s office, the weight of the partygoers’ speculation and greedy curiosity on their backs. As she twisted the knob on the door, Rion Ward called out, “A round of drinks for everyone. On me.” She closed the door on the cheers.
“What are you doing?” she blurted out, leaning against the wall. Hell, she needed the support because her legs were doing a piss-poor job of holding her up.
Killian slid his hands in the front pockets of his black pants, and studied her. The dark waves of his hair emphasized the beauty of his golden eyes, and yeah, she sounded like one of those flowery romance novels, but she just wanted to fall into them.
She pressed her spine against the wall. There would be no falling into eyes, arms…or anything else until she had answers.
“This,” she waved a hand toward the door, “public declaration thing isn’t exactly you.”
“No, it isn’t,” he agreed. “But I was desperate.” He glanced to the side, and she caught the tic of a muscle along his jaw before he turned to her again. “You make me desperate,” he rasped. When she dipped her head, he shifted forward, lifting an arm toward her, then after a brief hesitation, dropping it. “Gabby, please look at me.”
With obvious pain abrading his already rough voice, she couldn’tnotcomply.
“You’ve been fighting again,” she whispered, her fingers itching to brush the fresh-looking cuts on his cheekbone and above his left eyebrow. “Demons?”
“Yes. But of my own making this time,” he murmured. “What I said out in the bar was true. Rion and Sasha… They were my brothers, but until you, I didn’t know tenderness. I didn’t know what it was to have someone smile like the sun had risen just because I walked through the door. My father didn’t care if I came home, much less if I’d eaten, or if I didn’t feel well, or if I was hurt. But you did. For the first time in my life, I was someone’s world, and you were mine. So I held on tight…too tight. I lived in fear that you would be ripped away from me. Or that one day you would realize I wasn’t worthy of your adoration and heart. I was terrified that one day I would walk into the bar, and you wouldn’t smile.” He chuckled, the sound serrated, dry. “And what I feared, I created.”
He shook his head. “After I went to jail, I was wild with pain and anger. But I was also relieved.” Gabriella frowned, and a corner of his mouth curled into a humorless half smile. “I know, it sounds crazy, right? But underneath everything else? Yeah, relief. Because the shoe had dropped. I could stop wondering when the end would happen. And I would also never feel love and the agony of having it ripped away again. In a life that had become chaotic, that I could control. But the moment I saw you again, I realized I’d been bullshitting myself. In that instant, I knew I couldn’t let you in again because you had the power to take me back to that dark place that I’d promised myself I wouldn’t return to. I convinced myself having your body again was enough, that I could be satisfied with just sex, but as soon as you walked out of Lick—no,beforeyou walked out—I knew I’d fucked up.”
He moved forward, eliminating the distance between them. No hesitation. No permission. This was the man who had taught her body to sing to the special, erotic tune he set. The man who made her body implode with pleasure. The man who owned her heart.
