Page 81 of Shattered Hope
But it wasn’t nor the place nor the moment.
32
The doctors confirmed the pregnancy and the wellbeing of the baby later that afternoon, but I was still having trouble believing it was real.
At first, when I was still dating Daniel, I used to picture myself as a mother, and I liked the idea. My mother had been a pitiful example of one, but back then, I was clear on what kind of mother I wanted to be. A supportive, always present, and loving mother. The kind that would do anything for her child, no matter what.
I still wanted those things, but after all I had been through, I wasn’t sure I would be able to give my child the life he or she deserved. Especially, if I had to do the job alone.
Hell, I hadn't been able to take care of myself. How the hell was I supposed to take care of a child?
Doubts filled my mind, and I had a restless night. Fortunately, I had been able to convince Jayden to spend the night at home, so I hadn't had any witnesses.
I was getting ready to leave the hospital the following day when I received an unexpected visit.
“Officer Josh! What a surprise,” I greeted him as he entered the room.
“Ms. Kekoa! It’s great seeing you so well,” the man replied with a wavery smile.
“Thank you,” I said, resting my hand on my chest, a bad feeling creeping through me like the poisonous snake. “I wasn’t expecting you today,” I added, inviting him to tell me why he was there. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear it any more than he seemed to want to say it to me.
“I’m afraid I’m the bearer of bad news,” he started, clasping his hands. “They were sending someone else to give you the news, but I thought it would be better to hear them from someone you already know.”
“He escaped, didn’t he?” I mumbled as an icy wave washed over me.
“What? Oh, no… no…” he took a step closer and picked my hands in his. “Hudson is not going anywhere, ever again,” he calmed my fears. “He… he was found dead in his cell this morning.”
It took a few seconds for his words to make some sense in my troubled mind. “Dead? Daniel is dead?” I finally managed to utter the words.
“I’m afraid so. It seems he killed himself after he saw the news and realized he had no way out, that he would pay for all he did,” the officer explained, helping me to get a seat on the small couch near the bed. “Though I hate he took the coward’s way out of his own mess, I guess it must be a relief for you… knowing that he can’t hurt you again,” he added.
His words made little sense to me. My mind was swirling around the fact Daniel was dead. Really dead.
I sobbed, giving in. Stone by stone, the walls of fear and despair I had built around me ever since my wedding night came crumbling down, setting free all the tears I had welled up all over the years.
I couldn’t count how many times I had wished for him to die. In my darkest hours, while pain and despair clouded my judgment, imagining his death had been what had given me the strength to go on. I used to picture a million accidents, from the silliest ones to the bloodiest my mind could conjure.
But now it was real, and though a remnant of compassion flared in my mind, it was overwhelmed by the wildest wave of relief I ever experienced.
Jayden arrived at some point. I knew he was there; I could feel his arms around my shuddering body, but I couldn’t stop crying.
After a long while, my tears turned into quiet sobs, and soon, it was over. I felt drained, utterly exhausted. All I wanted was to cuddle up against Jayden’s warmth and close my eyes to the world.
He kissed my forehead.
“Are you all right?” he murmured, kissing me again.
I gave him a slight nod, too tired to speak.
“I’m assuming those were tears of happiness,” he said in a teasing tone.
A faint smile twisted my lips. “Is it wrong to feel so happy?” I murmured.
He chuckled and tightened his embrace around me. “I would be worried if you didn’t, after all, he did to you,” he assured me.
I sighed. “I’m mostly relieved. No more worrying, no more running…” I mumbled, having a hard time keeping my eyes open.
He picked me in his arms and carried me to the bed. “You’re exhausted. Get some sleep. I’ll come back later for you,” he suggested, kissing my cheeks.
