Page 18 of Crash
Grabbing the other extra cushion, I clobber her. An all-out pillow fight ensues, and we roll off the couch onto the floor where I pin her hands down by her sides.
“Austin, you are not playing fair. You’re stronger than me.”
“All’s fair in love and war, baby,” I retort.
She looks at me, wiggles her brows, and before I know it, wraps her legs, locking me in position, grabs my arm, and rolls me onto my back. I’d be lying my ass off if I didn’t say that was super-hot and I’m turned on as fuck.
“Whoa. Where did you learn to do that?”
“I took a defense class in college after one of my roommates was attacked. We all did it as a show of solidarity. I also know how to do this.”
Placing her hands on either side of me, she lifts into a headstand with her face just inches above mine. I can’t fight the temptation and rise on my elbows to kiss her. Think Spider-Man, but I’m the girl and Tessa needs no mask. One peck has her attention. The second, brings her to her knees…literally. She loses her balance and comes crashing down on top of me.
“Oh my god. That moment was just ruined by my awkward fail,” she chortles, holding her stomach. It only gets worse when a snort comes out.
I lie on my side watching her have a giggle fit over her blunder. She wipes away the tears of laughter coming from her eyes before catching her breath and turning her head in my direction.
“Sorry about that. Did I hurt you?” she asks softly, rubbing the leg she tumbled down on.
“No. Not at all. I’d love to have you crashing into me every day.” I stroke the back of her hand while she continues to caress my thigh.
“How long are you usually off?”
“Um, I got an extra day this week because our schedules changed. Typically, it’s four, ten-hour shifts then home for two days. Why?”
“Um, I was thinking the next time you’re off, maybe come stay at my house? Let me play hostess.”
“Yay, I got an invite to the cool kids’ table. That must mean you like me.”
“I more than like you. I’m deeply in like with you. Maybe crushing real hard.” She uses her nail and traces the back of my hand, moving up my forearm then back down.
“Yeah, ’cause we can’t be in love, right? I mean, we just started this thing with no name.”
“It may have no name, Austin, but we know what this is. Maybe we just don’t want to admit or say it ’cause we think we’re confined to a timetable.”
“Maybe we just take things easy and let what happens happen. Not use labels so we don’t jinx this.”
“Keep our feelings secret? What’s the point in that? Austin, I know what I feel for you. But if you don’t share those feelings, then that’s fine. I just won’t expect anything more from you.” She gets up and stomps into the kitchen, taking the bowl that held our popcorn with her.
Words were never my friend. I always say things that put me on the scolding end of a woman. I follow her path and find her washing the dishes in an angry manner. Loud clings and clangs are heard as she not-so-gently places the cleaned dishes on the opposite side of the sink to be rinsed and dried. I slide beside her to rinse, dry, and put away. We are surrounded in silence until the last of the tableware has been stored.
She uses the cleaning rag to wipe down the counter, and still nothing is said. Until…
“You know what, Austin? Maybe some people know how they feel about someone for a long time and it’s not a phase, or insta-love, or whatever. It’s real to that person. Maybe they tried to talk themselves out of it and dated other people only to find that their thoughts were only on that one and they don’t need to wait ninety days for it to be real. Did you ever think about that? Or did you play this laid-back role just to fuck me and after tomorrow I will be a mere notch on your headboard?”
“Tessa, that’s not what I meant. I didn’t —”
She storms to my room in the middle of me talking. That always irritates the fuck out of me. Courtney used to do that, and we’d end up in punch-arm fights. I go after her before her temper boils over for no reason.
“Tessa, I didn’t mean keep us a secret. I merely want us to enjoy the slow burn and not jump into a fire. It’ll be over too soon if we do that, and I don’t want that to be our fate.” I take her hand into mine while I sit on my bed.
She sits in my lap and places her arms around my shoulders while gazing into my eyes.
“Austin, I know it’s easy to dismiss this into a phase or call it puppy love, and that may be true…if it were like five years ago. But I knew I had these feelings since Courtney and I graduated from college. You ended up taking us home from that party after your sister got so wasted and I was in no shape to drive. Do you remember that night?”
The flashback comes into my mind’s view, and I recall how after we put Courtney to bed, Tessa and I stayed up and lounged on the outdoor swing at my parents until the sun came up. “I sure do. You had on a pair of cut-off shorts that were frayed, a white pair of Converse, and my senior shirt thanks to my barfing sister.”
We chuckle at the memory, but my god she was sexy then and even more now.
