Page 40 of Crash
“I am just so fucking hurt and tired and helpless. I can’t see how I ended up in this place and of course he had nothing to do with it. Why did I say that?”
She strokes my head and tells the others to go home.
One of my dancers brings the scooter back to me before leaving. I grab my phone from the attached bag and try to call him, but he doesn’t answer. I try a few more times only to get straight to voicemail and not read responses from my texts.
“Come, on sis. I’ll take you home.” Courtney aids me with getting back to a standing position.
She double checks the locks on all entrances, and I wait for her by the front door.
“Building is secure,” she says, returning to my side.
I flip off the lights and set the alarm. “Let’s go.”
COURTNEYand I drive around so I can calm down before arriving back at Austin’s. I have become good at hopping up the short flight of stairs. Usually, he always carries me. When we reach the threshold, Courtney opens the door and stands to the side so I can go in.
Austin is sitting on the couch watching the sports channel and barely addressing our presence. His gaze falls over my body for a brief second, but it isn’t warm like usual.
“What you got in here to eat, bro?” Courtney asks, leaving me in an awkward moment.
“There’s some stuff from the soul food restaurant in there on the counter.”
I feel that’s a slug towards me since we didn’t eat together as he planned.
She saunters off to the kitchen in search of food.
I go to speak to Austin, but he instead gets up and goes to the room, closing the door behind him.
“Where’d he go?” Courtney asks, entering the room with a piece of chicken on a napkin.
“Um, he went to the room. I guess he’s not in a space to talk. Thank you for bringing me home. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Okay. I love you, Tess.”
“Love you, Court.”
We embrace, and she leaves.
I lock the door behind her and head to the kitchen where I fix myself a plate and put the rest of the food away. I heat my food in the microwave and clean up the few cups lying in the sink. When the bell goes off, I take my plate and sit down to enjoy my meal. The night replays in my mind and it reiterates the pain I suppressed earlier. I barely get through my meal before discarding the remains, cleansing the plate, and putting it away.
I turn off all the lights and go to the room where he lies, still as the night. I remove my clothes and put on my nighttime attire before climbing into bed alongside him. Feeling restless, I snuggle up to him taking my place on his chest and before too long, fall asleep.
