Page 44 of Push & Pull
I would have figured it out eventually.Simone had already dropped clues that now made more sense. What had she said about her sabbatical from work?“Working on herself” or something like that.Rehab would definitely qualify. “How many times did you go?” Petra asked. “Just the one?”
“Twice. Didn’t learn my lesson the first time.”
“Hey, no shame. My mom’s been to rehab too. Though, probably not as fancy as the one you went to.” Nicolette’s addiction to painkillers was partially why she was in prison.That and what she did to get her fix.Petra always noticed that Uncle Michail did nothing to get her out earlier. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but…”
“Coke, mostly,” Simone said. “That was my first stint. With…”
“Hm?”
Simone rolled away when she next spoke. Petra could only imagine the red on her face when she said, “Meth.”
Petra let out a low whistle.
“I didn’t know that’s what it was, okay? You know how it is. You’ve been to Hailey’s parties.”
“Hailey’s got her demons, I know thispersonally,but meth was never on the table with her.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. She was the one who used to give it to me.”
Something stopped Petra’s heart. Anger. Disbelief. The inability to face the fact that she might not know Hailey as well as she hoped.Meth… fucking unbelievable.“What about the second time?” Petra didn’t mean to sound so judgmental. It had nothing to do with Simone’s history, and everything to do with Hailey.
“I relapsed, of course. Coke again, although with a smattering of painkillers. What’s funny is I always know when coke is involved, but the second thing? It’s because of idiots I trust. I was trying to stop doing coke because my therapist wanted me on yet another SSRI, and obviously mixing the two wasnotideal. Never mind Cady slipping me some painkillers she got from fuckall I know. I ended up in the hospital. I thought she was giving meTylenol.”
“Let me guess – you ended up in the hospital, and everyone in your life freaked out. The sober ones, I mean.”
“My stepmother, mostly. She never said much directly to my face, but I know she dealt with me in the hospital when I was unconscious. The president of the company basically told me that the sabbatical was her idea, but I was enforcing it. They want to make sure I’m sober before letting me back on board.”
Can’t blame them for that.Petra didn’t know what Simone was like when she was high on the hard stuff, but shedidknow what she was like drunk. “So, about the night of the party…”
“I didn’t touch any of that, I told you.”
“You were blackout drunk, though.”
Simone fisted her own hair in her hand, waiting for the frustration coursing through her skin to pass. Every time one of her muscles flexed, Petra scooted back another centimeter. “I only remember having two drinks.Two.That’s where I’ve been capping myself. I drink – nowhere near as much as I used to – and indulge in marijuana under the supervision of my therapist and my doctor. That’sit.I haven’t even had pot in weeks. I don’t know what happened at Hailey’s party. I’ve never even beenthatdrunk before. Not off two drinks!”
“You’re getting older. Tolerance, you know. Maybe it had a harder effect on you than you realized.”
Simone let out a frustrated grunt. “I think someone slipped me a mickey.”
“Huh?”
“You heard me. I was drugged. I don’t know why. None of my stuff was taken and I don’t think I was assaulted, but it’s the only explanation. The way I felt the day after the party when the first I remember is waking up inyourcar, is… it reminds me of a bender. One with drugs. Really sluggish, memory barely there, and not really like being hungover from liquor. The drinks probably didn’t help.”
“This is definitely a serious thing.” Petra meant that, too. If someone was drugging guests at Hailey’s party, surely, the hostess would want to know.I’ll have to call and ask her about it later.“I mean, I believe you. If you say that’s what you think happened, then I’ll believe you. But like you, I don’t get what the point would have been. I was sober the whole night and don’t rememberoncethinking someone had messed with you. I thought you were drunk.” Then again, she didn’t see much of Simone after she and Daria left the living room. Knowing that Simone had her own guest room in Hailey’s condo helped that make sense. Why wouldn’t she have gone from being surrounded by people to the privacy of her own room? “You were still in all of your clothes when Hailey worried you had OD’d. I don’t think anyone touched you. Not like that.”
“Nobody else was like that at the party?”
That unfortunately hopeful tone in Simone’s voice hurt Petra to hear. “No. Not that I recall. Most of the drugs were in Yvonne’s room, but I avoided it.”
Simone wrapped her arms around her knees and buried her head between them. “Every time things start stabilizing and looking up for me,somethinghappens. I’ve learned I need to let people go, but it’s harder than it sounds. I… Jesus.” She fell to the side, head turned away from Petra. “Why am I telling you this? I barely know you.”
Petra unfolded her legs, shoulders slumping toward her lap. “If I may…”
“Why not?”
She ignored the fatigue in Simone’s voice. “You’re telling me all thisbecauseyou don’t know me.” Should she leave it at that? Some – all right, most – people were uncomfortable when Petra read them out loud.They don’t want to hear the truths I see. They don’t even want to admit that a total stranger can see all of that.“I only know the you I met three days ago. Hell, I know more about your body than I do your history. Isn’t that why we’re on this bed, you telling me the crap that tears you apart?”
“To be fair,” Simone muttered, “you weren’t supposed to know most of this.” She lifted her head. Although she hadn’t been crying, some of her eyeliner smeared. “This was a weird adventure of convenience, and because I’m a fucking hot mess. Who likes sex, I should add.”
