Page 70 of Push & Pull
A wry smile graced Elena’s countenance. “What a lovely memory that is now. I recall a certain someone being aghast that I was eloping with someone I had only known for a month.”
“Yeah, well… you told me that one day I would understand the urge to do that.” Simone blushed to say that since it implied she was ready to elope with Petra.Hardly!“I’m in no position to get married right now, of course, but this past week has been something I hadn’t felt… honestly, in half my life. I remember the first few girlfriends I had coming out of high school. You know. The summer fling in the Hamptons or the random girl you meet when you’re in Rome for a week. Those first signs of finally doing what feels right for you. When you mix up the thrill of sex and all its pheromones with love.”
“I don’t recall any of this,” Elena said while sipping her wine. “Do go on. I’m intrigued.”
Simone couldn’t help but laugh at her own self-indulgence. “Sometimes you click with people you’ve only known for a super short time. I get that a lot better now.”
“This girl you’re traveling with,” Elena said, “remind me how you met her again?”
While the story behind meeting Petra wasn’t flattering, Simone offered a few altered details that wove the short tale between meeting at Hailey’s party in Miami and ending up in the car the next day, too hungover to realize what was happening. Simone made sure to mention that Petra was a close girlhood friend of Hailey’s, and therefore a trustworthy addition to the story.I know what this sounds like otherwise.
“You start sleeping together that first night in an economy hotel?” Elena was all ears by the time the waiter returned to take their orders. “Hopefully she’s not trouble for you.”
“She’s straight as an arrow compared to me. I know what a fuck up I’ve been these past few years.” Simone shook her head in despair. “I’ve put you in some shitty positions. I’m sorry.”
“Why? It was never anything I couldn’t handle. I swear, the others around you freaked out more than I ever did. Remember when you passed out in the house? With Astrid right there?”
Simone had hoped her friend wouldn’t bring that up. “Yes. My meds were conflicting. That was when I decided to get off them entirely. Didn’t do me much good, anyway. Ugh. Astrid was convinced I was using again.”
“To be fair, it wasn’t a farfetched assumption.”
“I haven’t used since I last ended up in rehab, and that had been a misunderstanding that led to me cutting off more people from my life. I don’t have a lot left, you know!”
“Of course I do. You’ve always been dealt a rough hand since your mother got sick. I never met the woman, but by all accounts, she didn’t deserve to leave this earth so early. Especially with you so ill-prepared for a world without her, and your father… doing what many old men do when their wives kick the bucket. They marry the first pussy they can find.”
Simone was only slightly shocked by Elena’s candor.You think you know the woman, and she continues to surprise you.“Isn’t Astrid practically your best friend?”
“She’s dear to me, yes, like you are, but I don’t fear saying what I see. She knows I think this, too. We’ve had some frank conversations about it over time. Ah, well, you know her side of the story anyway.”
Yeah. A sex worker making the best of her situation.Simone didn’t begrudge Astrid for doing what she did to get by. What Simone begrudged was the universe allowing it to happen toherfamily. Astrid was a mere scapegoat.
“I take it this lucky lady you’ve been feeling so free with delivers what you’ve always desired.” Another classic hallmark of Elena’s personality was how easily she veered into conversations about people’s sex lives. Simone was never an exception. This was, after all, the woman who helped her explore her own sexual desires in a safe and consensual space.Her bedroom.Sometimes Simone got embarrassed to think about it, but after so long, she saw Elena as nothing but a close friend who had been there for her when needed.She’s like an older sister figure. Whom I happened to have sex with a few times.That was a long time ago, though. The two faces of Elena could exist in Simone’s memory simultaneously.
“You could say that.” Simone fidgeted with the cloth napkin that soon ended up in her lap. “You know I can be shy talking about these things, but… well, she’s not who I imagined when I pictured my ideal girlfriend, but I don’t think about any of those things when we’re alone together. I even let her spank me last night.”
She had said that with a low voice as if anyone in the restaurant could hear them over by the far wall. Elena, however, turned her amused chuckle into a clearing of her throat. “You hated it when we experimented with that. She must really be special.”
“It was a different energy. Not my favorite thing, no, but she let me do it back to her afterward. My hand is still numb.”
“Because you have no idea what you’re doing.”
Simone had to concede that by raising her iced tea.
“I’m happy for you,” Elena said. “Really. I can’t think of anyone who could use a decent relationship more than you.”
Without food to occupy her hands, Simone had half a mind to drum her fingers against the table. “Funny you should say that. She drops hints that maybe we could keep doing this for a while. Or be in a, you know, relationship.”
“Why, I’mshocked.”
Simone sighed. “It’s strange, you know. I’m not one to jump into a relationship. I don’t think she is, either.”
“You think I am?”
“You married your wife after a month of dating her!” Simone would never forget the phone call to come to Elena’s event, only to find out it was her wedding and Simone was the lucky witness.I was so shocked I must have sounded like a loveless idiot when I chewed her out.Since then, there had been no doubt that Jewel was the perfect complement to Elena’s lifestyle. The two of them were like spicy curry and plain rice. Or was that decadent berry jam on bread?
“I married her because I knew she was the one for me and didn’t want to do the rigmarole of an engagement and a giant to-do of a wedding. Why do that when we could simply cut to the chase? I’m not saying other people should do that if it’s not them, but it was fine for me. And Jewel, I should add.”
“I’m not the kind to elope,” Simone said, “but I am the kind to get in way over my head.”
