Page 10 of Up All Night
I thought the mighty and honorable Amaterasu herself had descended from the heavens to illuminate her sunny light upon the tiny-ass pack of condoms sitting on a back shelf.
One. One pack to choose from, for an exorbitant Tokyo price. I stared at them, convinced that I was hallucinating. It was because I hadn’t had dinner yet, right? I was starving, and thus, hallucinating.
Fuck it.
I hadn’t come this far to not buy a pack of condoms. I was a responsible adult woman and absolutely mature about this.
Even though the one guy at the register was old enough to be my father.
Most of us have been there. You’re popping in to buy condoms, lube, a cucumber… and you think ah, fuck, how embarrassing would it be to buy only this? Because then it looks like I’m running out to get laid right away! Nah, man, I’m going through a list of things I have to restock at home. Condoms, you know? Might as well get some lube since it was right there. I also needed to get a toothbrush, some snacks, and a new umbrella for the missus.
Not that night.
This guy was going to deal with a foreigner marching up to the counter and triumphantly slamming a box of condoms down onto the counter. He was going to give me the same level of Japanese professionalism I was damn well accustomed to, and he was gonnalike it.
I looked him right in the eye as I approached. I nonchalantly tossed the white box of condoms in front of him and pulled out my wallet. He looked at me. He looked at the box. For a split second, we shared a moment that was nothing short of a struggle for dominance. I wasn’t going down with embarrassment first. He could have those honors if he so chose.
Didn’t he know that we American women weresexually aggressive?Of course we bought condoms and nothing else! Mother fucker, I was about to go get laid because my stupid ass neighbor hadn’t let me sleep in a week! This was happening! Some guy named Hadrian was currently en route to our meeting point – ah, fuck, I better tell him I was running late – and I was gonna blow that dick and fuck that cock!
Now ring up my fucking condoms!
