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The woman furrows her brows as if she’s about to stick a stake in my heart. “Sorry,” she says with a heavy accent. “No. Family. Only family.”

Are you fucking kidding me?

I’ve faced similar shit to this in America. One time my best friend Eva came down with a bad enough flu for her family to put her in the hospital. This was during a big charity project of mine, so the only time I had to go see her was late in the evening or so early in the morning it was outside of the usual visitors’ hours. They dared to tell mefamily only.You bet your ass after I dropped my name a hundred times and offered a considerable donation to that hospital they let me visit Eva as much as I wanted. There’s a lot that makes me cringe about how much privilege I have, but using it to see the people I love in the hospital isnotone of those things. I’ll call Caroline my own mother if it gets me in to see her hip-broken ass in the hospital. What’s it to me?

This apparently does not work in Japan. They don’t know me from the prime minister’s wife. The name Kathryn Alison means nothing when I haven’t done .01% of the charity work here compared to back home. All they care about is some stupid piece of paper that’s supposed to make me more important in Ian’s life than, oh, the person he loves most in the world. At this point I probably know more about his medical history than his own parents.

Junri puts a hand on my shaking arm. “I will ask when visiting hours open tomorrow.” No, that’s not enough. I need to see him now.

It’s fruitless, anyway. I can tell from the look on her face that the nurse’s answer is most unsatisfying. “Well?” I ask.

“She says that his condition is bad enough that they won’t allow general visitors at any hour. Family only.”

They. Are. Kidding. Me!

So she’s saying I have to fly Caroline’s ass out here to get an update on his condition? Because they won’t even tell me how he’s doing or what happened! They think I’m going to walk away as if I don’t care that much? That I’ll waste my life away in some hotel, waiting for word that he’s well enough to “generally” visit? Wait for him to be discharged? Wait for him to call me? I have to get my future mother-in-law out here for that bullshit? His father? Should I bring Valerie in here and pass her off as his wife? What the fuck do Ido?

Junri guides me over to a rest area and sits me down on an uncomfortable chair. “I’m sorry, Kathryn,” she says. “Japan is very strict about patient privacy.”

So is America, but that hasn’t stopped me before!

“It’s difficult to work around it. I’m afraid you have to be married to him if you’re not related by blood.” You know, if Ian were her, he’d make a stupid incest joke. I’d reprimand him for it, he’d laugh at how sensitive I am, and we’d get on with our lives. Yet he’s not here, is he? He’s rotting away from food poisoning behind these doors over here, and there’s no way I can see him? Pretty sure that goes against the Geneva Convention. “Maybe we can come back tomorrow and his condition will be good enough that you can visit him during general hours. Until then, I suggest you call someone in his family to make arrangements. They should have an English liaison on the line. This hospital services many foreigners.”

They’re servicing my partner right now.

Eventually, the nurse shoos us away to the main waiting room, with the reminder that we’re not going to see him tonight, anyway. Also, there’s no one of enough importance on duty for us to speak with. We might as well leave, don’t we know?

I can’t leave. I’m not leaving until I see Ian.