Page 14 of Never Have We Ever
Valeska paused before clinking her glass against his. “Have they been happy for you?”
“Of course?” André removed his suit jacket. His dressshirt was wrinkled from travel, and his tie askew, but he looked as handsome as the day of their wedding. Valeska could no longer count how many times she had seen her husband naked, but every time he kissed her – clothes onoroff – she felt like a silly girl again. Damn her for catching feelings in an arranged marriage. It was going to make his insistence that they open things up to other loversall the more unbearable. “I am a happy man. Good home, good career, and a great wife. Why? Are you not happy, Madame Dubois?”
Valeska picked at her dinner. Not even the seasoned vegetables called to her, and they were usually her favorite. “Yes. I am mostly happy. Especially when you are home.”
André had to look at her twice. “I’m so sorry. I am not home enough. I must work hard for my family.”
“I know.”
“My father doesn’t understand that I need to be home with my wife. I tell him that we are still getting to know each other, but he doesn’t understand why it’s important. He acts like you are a… how do you say… ornament.”
Valeska didn’t respond. She knew what her place in the family was, as far as the Dubois clan was concerned. Her in-laws saw her as a home-minder and grandchildrenhandler first and foremost. The primary Madame Dubois, when she stopped in to visit with Valeska a week ago, did not hold back her opinion that it was time for her daughter-in-law to be with child.“You young women have so many medications these days, but you should stop taking them. If you need money for treatments, ask. It is not shameful.”Valeska had never been so embarrassed around her mother-in-lawbefore.
The sad thing? She wanted children. Sometimes it was all she could think about, especially when she sat in her lonely townhouse, unable to understand a single thing her servants said. Did she want to have a child with André if their marriage went in a direction she couldn’t bear?
“I hope you don’t think I am a mere ornament.”
“Non, bien sur que non.”
Valeska was pretty sure that meantOf course not!
“Why? Do I make you feel that you are not beyond a mere ornament?”
It was too difficult to look at him. Valeska would rather stare at her venison and the half-drunk champagne that begged her to finish it. “I worry…”
André leaned in closer, his gentle knuckles brushing her hair from her cheek.Why do you have to be so considerate when I worry?It only served to make that tearreally fall. “Why do you worry? Is it something wrong with Paris? Because I am gone so much?”
“Many things, I suppose.” This was not how Valeska wanted to celebrate their two years of marriage.I wanted food and romance. Even better if we could have both at the same time.“French is so difficult for me to understand. My accent is not better even after moving to Paris.”
“Who says? I have noticedincredible improvement. I can’t tell you apart from a Parisian woman.”
“You’re just saying that.”
“Ah, well…” André didn’t try to hide his embarrassment. “It has improved. Don’t think it hasn’t.” He wrapped his arm around the back of her chair. “I have an idea. For one of my gifts to you, I will hire you a German lady-in-waiting. Like a real princess deserves.”
Valeska blushed again. “Oh,stop. Celeste is more than capable of helping me run this house.”
“I don’t mean a maid. I mean a professional friend, because a princess should have her court.”
“That’s so…” Romantically archaic? That sounded weird to say in English. There was a perfectly good German word, but it was ten syllables long and would go right over André’s blond head. “I cannot ask you to do that.”
“Even better.Tomorrow, you will call your mother in Vienna and tell her to recommend you some suitable colleagues. We will fly the best candidate out here to live with you while I am gone. My wife will not be alienated while I am gone.”
“André…” Valeska wouldn’t disagree that it sounded like a wonderful idea, but it was so excessive! What kind of sensitive girl was she if she needed a lady-in-waiting? Evenif they cut costs by claiming it would be a good experience for a young Austrian woman looking to become more cultured, it sounded like the kind of thing that would raise her in-laws’ ire.
“I worry too, Leska.” Where did this serious tone come from? He shouldn’t sound so serious on their anniversary, let alone after traveling for so long! “If my wife is so lonely while I am gone that she runsout of thoughts about me, then my heart is black.”
“What?”
“Ah… forget I said anything.”
André had such a faraway look on his countenance that Valeska likewise retreated into her own thoughts.Maybe he’s not with other women… maybe he really does love me…They had exchanged I love yous many times since marrying, but how was Valeska to know if they were real or hollow?
“Besides!” André’s handwas on her thigh, inching up beneath her skirt and testing the heat of her skin.It’s the first time he’s truly touched me in weeks. Has he been as true as I have been?“Perhaps we find a nice Austrian woman who can also be a nanny,non?”
“A nanny?”
“Yes, it is what I will tell my mother. We have hired an Austrian nanny whom is also your companion. To help you raise our children.”
