Page 35 of Never Have We Ever
Valeska had finished drinking her tea by the time the letter reached its conclusion. Her cheeks were flushed and her thighs hot as if it really were the week after their honeymoon and she was able to understand thislove letter.He really thought all those things about me?She put her empty mug down and regretted those self-doubts in the beginning of their marriage.
Still, none of that excused what he had recently done.
What he might still be doing…
Valeska wouldn’t let this bit of sentimentality get to her. Instead, she dug through her stack of letters, picking out the longest ones and others that hadkept her attention throughout the years. When she had some time after dinner, she scanned them into her laptop and fired a few off to Monsieur Michel to translate.
***
“Your birthday is coming up… I wonder, should I gift you my body or my brain?”
“If Heaven welcomed me but not you, I would tell St. Peter that he could keep the halo and let me descend into the netherworld with my beloved.A life in Hell with you is worth more than a life in Heaven without you.”
“I don’t yet know what our daughter will look like, but if she’s half as beautiful as you are, then the world will weep from such an excess of beauty.”
“Today I visited an ancient Cathedral that is said to be the home of the most pious monks and nuns. All I could think about was fucking you.”
“In the depths of my heartthere is a seed. It was planted the day you agreed to marry me. For the past six years I have nourished it with your love and the hopes I have for the future. Since then, it has bloomed within my chest and threatens to burst if you nourish it any more. I will lay in my grave with a rose garden sprouting from my body.”
“When you came into my office and offered me such wonders, I had the sinkingfeeling that another baby would soon be born to us. How delighted I was to hear it was happening.”
“You have withdrawn from me since the birth of our precious son. I wonder if it is me, but everyone assures me that you are still recovering from such a trying ordeal. Every day I ask Lena what I can do to make you feel better and want me again. She suggests patience and an endless supply of favors.”
“I wish you were here in Madrid with me. The sunset reminds me of your face when you scream your love for me. It’s the raw anarchy of the sun’s rays that make me think of that wordless cry the moment before you enjoy your little death.”
“I have a surprise awaiting us in Monaco. I hope that Lena has not spoiled the surprise.”
Valeska was inundated with these snippets of a life she lived withAndré without realizing it. For years he had been sending her these love-filled letters that made him sound more like a lovesick fool than the hardworking businessman his wife assumed him to be.How could I have never known this about my own husband?How could Valeska’s French remain so pathetic that she relied on a professional translator ten years later to find out how much her husband reallyloved her?
No wonder André was so offended.
Valeska packed one suitcase and informed the interim nanny that the children were in her hands until further notice. As soon as travel arrangements to Monaco were arranged, Valeska hopped into the back of a taxi and took off.
Five hours later, she touched down in Monaco in a helicopter she grabbed across the water. Not the most cost efficient wayto get to Monaco, but it was a last minute arrangement. It was more important to meet up with her husband than to save a few extra euros.
The only reason she knew what hotel he stayed in was because she hired the same private investigator her mother used. The man was based out of Monaco and had no issue tracking down André’s hotel by the end of the first day. Valeska likewise had no issue gettingthe suite number out of the front desk. They were still married, after all, and nobody saw any reason to keep a husband’s location away from his worried wife.
André was a mixture of shocked and relieved to find Valeska on the other side of his door. Valeska half-fretted that she would find another woman in her husband’s room, but it looked like he had been alone for a few days. Or at least that’swhat his stubble and casual clothing suggested.
The man had not come here for business or pleasure. He had come here to retreat into himself and hope he was sobered up enough to face their impending divorce with at least some modicum of dignity.
“Leska.” He leaned against the doorway, keeping his wife out of his abode. “You’re a sight for these sore eyes. To what do I owe this pleasure?”
Valeskareached into her bag and pulled out a small stack of curated letters. “I went to that man you suggested and had some of your letters translated. I… honestly had no idea.”
His pale face only grew whiter. Even looking his worst, André was one of the handsomest men Valeska had ever laid her eyes on.Is this really my husband? The father of my children? The man I’ve shared a bed with for the pasteight years?A man she had wanted far longer than that?
She could still remember their first kiss. The first time he touched her. The first time they made love, and the first time he said he loved her.
To think… she had shaken off his admission because she thought it was his stereotypically French nature making him say that. She was his wife. Of course he would say that he loved her. It wasthe law.
“Do you love me, André?”
His stature relaxed. “If you could not feel my love in those letters, then there is no chance of you hearing it in my voice.”
“I know… Iknow.” Valeska held the papers to her chest. “Can I please come in? We need to talk.”
“I suppose I should entertain you since you came all this way. Would be uncouth of me to turn you away at such a crucial time.” He saidthat, yet took his time moving out of the way so his wife could enter with her one bag.
