Page 37 of Never Have We Ever
Valeska sucked in her breath.
“Ever since there were complications with Thomas, I feel like things have changed. I worried that you haddepression postpartum.You wouldn’t let me touch youlike you were my wife.”
“I thought I might have driven you away.”
“You didn’t. I spent the whole year worried about you. I wanted to be closer to you than ever.” André stood. “I wished that I had a magic wand to wave and fix your soul. I couldn’t stand the thought of you never looking so lively again. Yet I was a fool to think that the way I communicated with you still sufficed.”
Valeska chuckled.“Isn’t it funny? Our English isn’t good enough, after all. It’s my fault. I’m no good at French after all these years.”
“I should have been learning German.” André backed this with a nod. “Although I am also no good with languages. Only the language of love… which is not good enough.”
She came closer to him, careful to keep a little distance while also opening herself up to his affections. “Ithought you spoke it well.”
“I was an idiot to think it was the only language we needed. I thought you could feel my love when we were together. Because I always felt it with you.”
Don’t cry. You still don’t know if he’s genuine…
“Leska, please.” He snatched her hand in his, the tightness of his grip shocking her to the core of her heart. “I cannot bear to be divorced from you. The day we marriedwas one of the best of my life. To know that it was all a faraway memory and you were no longer by my side or waiting for me on the other side of the world… I would die. I… I…” He expressed himself in the only language he was truly fluent in.
Not in French, but inlove.
The bubble encompassing their bodies could not be penetrated by any outside force. The strength of André’s kiss erected morethan a barrier meant to protect him and his wife from any paranoia or desire to run from their marriage. It throbbed in Valeska’s veins and filled her heart with such pardoned joy that she completely lost herself in his embrace. For the briefest second, she was once again a bride on her wedding night – a woman realizing she really was in love with her husband.
There were times over the courseof their marriage when Valeska still experienced that jolt of novelty with her husband. It wasn’t always when they did something for the first time, either. It happened when she caught a possessive glint in his eye or he made the right kind of sound in her ear. Sometimes a grunt was a grunt. Other times, however, a grunt was the end of the world.
This was renewed passion. A renewed sense of purposein their marriage. Renewed desires for one another.
“Je’taime,” André whispered on her lips. “Ich liebe Dich.”
Valeska couldn’t help but smile. “Your German remains worse than my French.”
“I should change that.”
“After I kiss you again.”
Because she hadn’t felt the full brunt of his love, she supposed. Not like the past decade had meant nothing. Yet when André kissed his wife as if he trulyhad something to prove, Valeska accepted that their marriage really hadn’t been a lie. Not a single second.
“We go to bed.” Before his wife could protest, André lifted her up into his arms, eliciting a yelp of girlish excitement. “We make love. I have much to prove.”
Valeska clasped her hands around his neck. Her hair tumbled toward the floor, but her husband was so deft in carrying her thatthe tips of her hair never once scraped the carpet.
She wanted to believe him. Eight years ago, she realized she felt something for this man. Now, one wedding and two children later, she had to decide if her love for him was worth harboring – or if it only served to drive them apart.
She didn’t necessarily disbelieve him. Not about loving her, anyway. It was his fidelity that had come intoquestion. She almost would have rather heard him say that he no longer loved her than feel the sting of his cheating.
He wanted to prove how devoted he was to her? He was welcomed to try. If nothing else, this could be their farewell tour.
The thing about André, however, was that he was always center stage. Until he decided to share the stage with the only person he deemed worthy.
Supposedly,that was Valeska.
“How could I betray someone like you?” Valeska had never seen her husband like this before. Not only was the stubble a new thing, but the primal way he got on top of her already and thrust his clothed hips against hers turned her into a happy puddle of mush. “You are the woman who stole my breath when you glanced at me so many years ago. I wanted you so badly that I decidedto marry you before I even exchanged words with you.”
He held her hands above her head. His hips held her down, his cock already hard in his trousers. Valeska almost hated how readily her body responded to him.Fuck me.They were supposed to be hashing out whether or not to get divorced, not having sex!Too late. We’re doing it.Valeska was addicted to one man. Her husband.
“I have never doubtedyou for one second. Every time I look at you, I still think of you as my bride. You could have ten children and you would be my bride.”
Valeska accepted his heavy kiss with a groan. “I can’t have ten children.” She changed the tone before he could berate her for being hard on herself. “I’m not my sister.”
