Page 30 of Seven Minutes In Heaven
Chapter 10
When Claire started the year, she was often dissociating because she had agreed to marry a man she would never love. Now? She dissociated because she was pregnant with that man’sgrandchild.
It didn’t help that catching Arthur in one of his dirty acts had soured the wedding planning. Claire had half a mind to tell him about the baby, but Jake had talked her out of it.“Instead,”he had said,“use his actions as leverage when finishing up that pre-nup.”
Arthur continued to deny what his fiancée had seen. Everything from, “We were rehearsing her upcoming role,” to “She was helping me out of bed,” was heard, and Claire made it known that she didn’t believe any of it. When they sat down with their lawyers a few days later, she said, “I honestly never expected real love or loyalty from you in this relationship, Arthur, but what would have happened if our roles were reversed?”
Suffice to say, he was not impressed.
Claire’s gut told her to end the engagement. Perhaps she should sever ties with Jake as well, or at least until the baby was born and she could decide what to do next. Except by the time two more weeks passed, she had realized that the only thing keeping her grounded, sane, andalivewas being with Jake whenever they could get away with it.
They spent most of their days together, usually at his place, but occasionally in hotels under assumed names. During the night, Claire stared at the back of her eyelids, wondering what to do with her life and whether she would live to regret her decisions. During the day? She only had eyes for Jake, who often forewent work so he could be with her. Even when Claire claimed he couldn’t work while she simply hung out in his apartment, he often said that he could work under “these conditions.” He would rather be in bed with her.
He had taken the news of her pregnancy with startling grace. Although Jake admitted that he was as confused as her about what to do, he ultimately decided that this was fate giving his life the purpose he had lacked since he was old enough to make his own decisions.
“I’m not asking you to marry me,” he said in bed one evening. The sun had set, and a single lamp illuminated his bed, although it wasn’t enough to cast away the shadows from his face as he loomed over her. His naked body was soft in skin and hard in muscle. Jake confessed that whatever frustrations he couldn’t take out in his writing, he took out in the gym, and there had been a ton of frustrations that year. “I want to do this right. If you’re having our baby, then I want to be there for it. As its father.”
Claire inhaled a deep breath. “Our” baby, he had said. Jake hadn’t been too heavy-handed about being excited about potential fatherhood, but he let slip the verbal and facial cues that suggested he wasn’t about to run away.I should be relieved to hear him say these things.What woman didn’t want the father of her child to be sticking around? Even women who barely knew those fathers? Did they even have a relationship right now? They had gone beyond the point where Claire could count the number of times they made love. Yet were they indulging in this because it was new and novel, or because there was something more to it?
“I’m still not sure what’s happening.” Claire traced the same trail on his abdomen she had been infatuated with since the first time they had sex in this bed. “If I go about my day, I can forget that I’m pregnant for a few hours. I can pretend that it’s not happening and that my life isn’t about to drastically change. Then I… I dunno. I go to the bathroom. I change my clothes. Ieatand get sick. You’re still the only person I’ve told. I’ve gotta tell my family soon.”
“My father is going to find out.” Jake sighed. “We should come clean to him. You’ve caught him in bed with another woman. He can be as angry as he wants. Like you told him at the prenup deliberation, he has no right to hold this loveless arrangement against you.”
At first, Claire thought he meantthiswas the loveless arrangement. She knew it. He was only screwing her because she was convenient and still hot. Once she started showing, once he couldn’t deny that she was pregnant, he would be over her.
Then she realized that her engagement was the loveless arrangement. Well, he wasn’t wrong about that.
“What do I do, though? If I tell him I’m pregnant with another man’s child, he’ll break off the engagement. I’ll be single andpregnant.My family won’t kick me out, but God, I can hear my mother now.” Gloria was already showing suspicions that something was out of sorts with her daughter. The woman had been pregnant and given birth three times. She knew the signs. Claire could only hide it for much longer, assuming her mother hadn’t figured it out already.She probably thinks it’s Arthur’s.Every time Claire entertained that thought, nausea got to her.
“Who says you’ll be single?”
Claire looked up into Jake’s face. She had the same thought every time she looked at him.If my son or daughter looks half as good as him, that’ll be the end of the Hollywood’s most beautiful lists.Jake had those big, beautiful eyes and hair to kill for. Not just the hair on top of his head, either. Stubble that grew in the right places and body hair that was as soft as his skin.
“What are you saying?”
Jake wrapped his hand around hers. The weight of both pressed into Claire’s pillow. “The only one who could keep you and me apart isyou,Claire. I’m not wasting time with you. I’m spending it with someone I can see myself loving.”
She yanked her hand out of his and sat up so quickly that her stomach lurched. Except it wasn’t the baby making her ill this time. It was the anxiety, the uncertainty Jake foisted upon her.Don’t do this to me.Claire had both wanted him to officially ask her out and hoped he would never bring it up. It would hurt to know he didn’t care. It would hurt even more knowing that her own actions brought her to this standstill from hell.
“You can see yourself loving me… does that mean you don’t right now?”
That question was a trap, and she knew it.
“Claire…” That man would have followed her across the room, across the city, across thecountryif she dared to leave. “A part of me has loved you since the moment I first saw you.”
She built that wall around her heart. As high as it could go. As thick as she could afford.Stay out of my heart, Jake. It’s never gonna work. This was all a mistake…“Because of a movie I was in?”
“Don’t ask me why. Only people in the movies can explain something like love.”
“You write about it all the time, don’t you? Like that movie I auditioned for.” And didn’t get, she would always add. “You wrote about those two characters being in love. All I do is channel my own experiences. I don’t have to come up with the words or even really know what it feels like. You? You’re the writer. You’re supposed to make the audience think you know what you’re talking about. Aren’t you supposed to speak for the audience? Don’t you…”
Her words were silenced with his kiss. Jake pushed her down into his bed, where his body enveloped hers and the covers fell away on that warm spring night.
“I know who might be able to help us figure out what to do,” Jake said, his hand lightly rubbing Claire’s stomach. She hated to admit how good it felt – how comforting it was to have the man who put that baby there acknowledge what had happened with one simple gesture. “Even if it doesn’t work out between us, she can at least help us figure out what to do about my dad. It’ll ultimately be up to you.”
She hated hearing that. Was it too much to ask for someone to sweep in and make the decisions for her?“Marry this man. Let go of that one. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine!”
“Don’t tell me you mean your mother.”
