Page 33 of Seven Minutes In Heaven
Chapter 11
Marry Jake. That’s an option.A fairy-tale option that couldn’t possibly be real.
Seriously, how was she supposed to treat that thought with any dignity?Elope? That’s not what I want!It was different when she arranged to marry a man out of perceived necessity without knowing much about him. Completely different when sex and emotions came into play.
Jake had been mum about his feelings on the matter. Or at least until they reached his apartment back in the city.
“If we got married instead,” he said matter-of-factly, while Claire sat like a statue on his couch, “it would solve a lot of our problems. Namely, problems with my father. Can’t do much if we’ve already filed a marriage license.”
“Solve our… are you nuts?” Claire scoffed. “Are you missing the part where getting married isn’t asimplething? I should know. I was agonizing over marrying your dadbeforeI found out I was pregnant. Do you know how close I’ve been to calling it all off to save my sanity? God!” She stood up, jacket falling from her hand. “You know what I wish? I wish Iwerefucking your father, because then I could say it’s his kid.Thatwould solve all of my problems!”
Jake leaned against his kitchen counter. The tea kettle whistled on the stove behind him. “I know you don’t mean that.”
“I do. If we’re talking about the logical thing to do, then I wish I had fucked your father.” She snorted. “I mean my fiancé. Because God forbid I ever forget that fact.”
“Claire.” Jake rounded the counter. “Don’t torment me with those thoughts. Don’t tormentyourselfwith those thoughts.”
“What, Jake? Are you going to be Prince Charming, come to rescue me from your big, bad daddy? Why do you even want to do something asstupidas eloping with me? Don’t you know what it’s going to do to your relationship with your own father? You stand to lose way more than I do with him. I might as well retire from an acting career I never had. Become a full-time mom or something. I hear going into fashion design is big for has-beens like me. Or do I need to do more than a shitty reality show to be a has-been?”
Jake opened his mouth. Claire cut him off.
“I appreciate you wanting to take responsibility for what we did, but don’t throw away your life for us.”
“For us?”
Claire put her hand on her stomach. “Yeah. Us.”
It was the first time she thought of her baby as anything but… nebulouslythere.She was aware she was pregnant, and it wasn’t getting easier to ignore as the weeks went by. But she didn’t have any emotions toward the child growing inside of her. It was there. It was a nuisance, honestly. The way it made her feel, the situation it put her in… not a creature to resent, no, since Claire had no one to blame but herself (and Jake)… but she wasn’t elated about the prospect of pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood. Honestly? It terrified her.
So if she didn’t think about? It didn’t exist. Herbabydidn’t exist. The only thing that existed was the terror lurking beneath the surface of her subconscious.
No. It’s happening. I’m having a baby. I’m going to be a mother. Time to do something about it.She would start by protecting the helpless child who depended on her to make the right decisions.
Yes. Rationality. Logic. More than whatever Jake offered her.
Or so she thought until Jake spoke again.
“You know why I suggest something as preposterous as us running off to get hitched before my dad even knows what’s hit him?” Jake took her hand before she had the chance to run out on him again. “If you think it’s only about the baby, you’re blind.”
“Blind?”
“Yes, blind.” Jake brought her closer, his heavy breath hitting her right on the lips. He was so close to kissing her that she almost wished he would. “Because you obviously can’t see how much I love you.”
Her eyes widened, as if to prove how blind shewasn’t.
“I wouldn’t do half of this for a woman I didn’t love, baby or no.”
Claire entertained the truth behind his words for exactly half a second. She then shook him off her, and she didn’t care that the hurt on his face was enough to make her cry as well.
“I really need to go.” Claire hustled away before Jake had the chance to catch her again. “Please… give me a few days to think things over. I can’t make any decisions like that right now. That includes how I feel about you.”
He had offered his truth, and in turn, she gave him hers. Claire didn’t know if she loved this man yet. Not enough to run off and marry him when she was supposed to be marrying another man.
Honestly, the thought of marrying either Carter man made her want to curl up into a ball and wish none of this had ever happened.
***
“Have you gained weight?” The seamstress pulled out her tape and wrapped it around Claire’s midsection. “That’s not good. This dress doesn’t have a lot give for us to loosen up.” She shook her head, those old, graying curls sad about the amount of work she had before her. “I suggest you go on a diet, Ms. Finn. You’ve got one month before your wedding, so that’s enough time to lose an inch!”
