Page 21 of Now & Forever
“I think I would remember that.”
Gwen grinned. Then, as if she hadn’t meant to show that level of mirth around her partner, she turned away, frowning.
“Nobody loves you like I do, Gwen.”
She bristled. “What’s that for?”
“Just reminding you.”
“You make it sound like I don’t know.”
James leaned against her vanity, arms crossed. “What’s wrong with saying how much I love you every day for the rest of your life? You make it sound like I’m gaslighting you or something.”
“That’s not what gaslighting is.”
“Areyouthe one gaslighting me about what gaslighting means now?”
“Not in the mood for jokes right now, James.”
He sighed. “I worry about us, you know.”
She said nothing.
“This whole baby thing… I know it’s messed with you more than it has with me, and I’m the surprise dad.”
“Do you have to bring this up right now?”
“Yes.”
Gwen slid her elbows across her vanity until they met the bottom of her mirror. Hands smacked against her face. Fingers pushed into her hair. “Now’s really not a good time to talk about it. I’m…”
“You should come with me next week to see Patrick.”
His interruption ensured that there were no more words spoken for a whole minute. Slowly, Gwen removed her hands from her face, both eyes looking at her partner as if he had asked her to marry his father.
“How can you ask me that?” she hissed. “God, James, sometimes I swear you’re the most tone-deaf person I know.”
“I want him to get to know you,” James continued, as if she hadn’t said anything. “The earlier he understands how it is in his family, the better. I keep worrying that the family is telling him that his mother and I are together. I know kids can’t really get things that young…”
“Trust me, James, they do. You think I didn’t understand that my parents divorced when I was three and I had a new dad a year later? Kids are smart. They pick up on everything.”
“Exactly. I want to make sure my son picks up on the right things.” James would be damned if the Welshes were telling his son that Mommy and Daddy were married. He didn’t put it past them. If they were diabolical enough to do what they had, then James had his work cut out for him in the fatherhood department.I don’t want to have to fight for custody, but I will if I think my son is being brainwashed by those heathens.James hadn’t signed away his parental rights, and he wouldn’t. Cassandra could marry the top lawyer in the state, and James would go to the next state over and hiretheirtop lawyer to get him even half-time custody.
Gwen finally looked at him. Her eyes were dull and sleepy, yet James knew her fatigue came more from the pain in her heart than the wear on her body. “What are you going to do when he’s finally old enough to understand how he came to be? What do you think that is going to do to a kid?” Gwen pointed her head back down to her crossed arms on her vanity. “What if we had kids? How would we explain that to them?”
James raised his eyebrows. Gwen brought up children so infrequently, that hearing those words uttered from her lips was like surviving whiplash. “Got something you wanna share, Gwenny?”
“I’m not pregnant.”
“I didn’t mean that.”
She sighed. “I don’t know if I’m cut out to be a stepmother. Not to a kid that came about like that.” Her hands formed into angry fists. “It would’ve been bad enough if some unknown baby mama came out of the woodwork… you know, one you actually slept with before you met me. Hell, sometimes I think I would handle you cheating on me better than…this.”
“If I had cheated on you,” James began, knowing that he poked the hornet’s nest, “you’d have grounds to break up with me. Cleanly. No judgment from anyone.” He walked toward their bed. “That’s what you’d love, right? A clean breakup.”
“Watch it.”
“Watch what?” James flopped onto the bed, hands behind his head. “Our relationship deteriorate because shit got real and hard?”
