Page 53 of Now & Forever
Chapter 13
Gwen
The trip home was a complete blur. Gwen hailed a ride share as soon as she was off the Merange’s property, her feet already sore and her heart pumping in her chest.
Everything had been too much. Between the invasive interrogation – and subsequent pay-off – at the hands of Albert and Sarah, Gwen had not been prepared to have her marriage revealed in front of so many people.James told Cassandra! When the hell did he do that?It was totally different from Gwen telling Ophelia about the marriage. That had been protecting herself in front of her mother-in-law. Ophelia was the only ally she had. Cassandra was…
Cassandra was a part of the problem!
Gwen didn’t care if James would never marry the mother of his child, let alone lust after her. That wasn’t the point.Okay, it was, a little bit.But simply believing him wasn’t enough. Cassandra represented everything that was toxic in that world. Men of power and money such as Albert Merange were not above stealing their own son’s sperm if it meant getting the grandchild of his dreams. Timing said that the plan was hatched as soon as Gwen discovered she was as good as infertile. Albert wasn’t taking his chances.
It was also right when she married James, not that his family had known about that. At leastthathadn’t leaked!
I don’t even think about being married. My view of James never changed.Signing a piece of paper and saying a few words in front of an officiant wasn’t romantic, and it wasn’t supposed to be. Gwen wasn’t a wedding type of woman, and James had agreed he would only go along with a big wedding if it was what she really wanted. He had been as happy to elope with her and go on a lovely weekend vacation. (The real “honeymoon” came a month later, when he could take more time off work and she finished the travel plans.) The weekend trip was the most romantic part. Dinner by the sea. Walks on the beach. Watching the sun set from their suite. Making love after getting out of the hot tub. Waking up to breakfast by the windows.
But it was the same ol’ thing, in a good way. Nothing really changed, other than taxes and signing other papers that gave Gwen more rights as James’s wife, should anything happen to him. If anything, being married gave her more relief than she anticipated. She didn’t worry about medical matters or inheritance. James would have always made sure she was taken care of, but having that piece of paper meant everything was much more streamlined and in her favor. The feelings between them didn’t change. Gwen didn’t think their relationship was stronger or more assured since they married. The only thing that caused the change wasthe baby.
The baby… and what it meant about the family she had married into.
Gwen almost knocked over Rebecca when she burst through her front door. Rebecca asked if everything was all right, but Gwen had a one-track mind that led her upstairs to the master suite.
She pulled out a suitcase and began the deranged process of throwing in whatever clothing she thought she might need. Where was she going?I don’t know. A hotel. My parents’ place. Anywhere I can be alone and figure things out.Her flight or fight response had kicked in again, this time with the full force of a family that wanted her out.
Gwen didn’t belong with these people. She never had. Everything, from the gilded house to the fun nights on the town, had merely been a long, meandering escape. She had been Alice in Wonderland. Now it was time to return to England with only faint memories of Red Queens and Mad Hatters.
We should have never married.That had been the catalyst for all the shit. Maybe the dream could have continued if they never brought that into their lives. Or maybe it would have made it easier to leave when shit hit the fan.
Gwen didn’t know if she wanted a separation, a divorce, orwhat.All she knew was that she wanted to get away. Possibly forever. At least for a month or a year.
Forever sounded good.
She hadn’t packed quickly enough, however. Not when James had his own car and must have followed her the moment she bailed on the Meranges. There was no doubt he would come after her, because he was James, and he probably would have followed her to Siberia if that’s where she was hellbent on fleeing.
Gwen dropped the shirt in her hand and held back a frustrated sob. She braced against the end of the bed the moment James leaped into their suite, her name on his lips.
She didn’t respond.
“Gwen…” James kept his distance. “What’s going on? What are you doing?”
She slammed the top of her suitcase shut.I don’t know what I put in there. Underwear? Jeans?She didn’t care. The only reason she packed anything at all was because she barely had enough rationalization rattling around her brain to realize she needed clean underwear wherever she went. Besides, throwing clothes into a suitcase andslamming it shutwas so satisfying.
“What does it look like I’m doing?” she asked her husband. “I’m leaving.”
Even though she didn’t look at him, Gwen sensed the panic emanating from James’s body. “What?” He came closer, but Gwen must have thrown up so many barriers that he smacked his head against every one of her defenses – he practically crumpled on the floor, disbelief consuming the air. “No… Gwen…”
The crack in his voice gutted her. Gwen pulled her suitcase off the bed and finally turned toward James, her tearful eyes meeting the sorrow in his. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I can’t do this. I thought I could. I wouldn’t have married you if I didn’t think it would be forever, but… I can’t.”
He blocked the only way out of the suite.Don’t make this harder, James. Please.Gwen needed a clear getaway. An escape. A way out that wouldn’t pull her heart even farther up her throat than it already was.Accept it, James. It was never meant to be for so long.
“Because of my family?” He held his opened hands out to her. “They don’t matter! There’s nothing they can do to us! What’s the worst my father could do, huh? Cut me out of his will and make everything go to Patrick? He wouldn’t dare. He needs me to run the company!”
Bottom lip trembling, Gwen unleashed the exasperation consuming her tired soul. “You know it’s not merely that! How could you suggest that the worst thing that could happen isyoubeing cut out of the will? Don’t you get it?” She clasped her hands against her face. How could she save that face, though, when the tears refused to stop? “They’ll always go afterme! Your father’s plan was to drive me away! Well!” Gwen lowered one wet hand and allowed her husband to see the full effect of his father’s actions. “It worked! You stubborn-ass Merange losers always get your fucking ways! You get me for a little while, and your dad gets rid of me!”
The tension melted out of James’s shoulders as if that was enough to kill him.
“I love you,” he muttered in defeat. “Isn’t that enough?”
That was a blow unlike Gwen had ever experienced. Yet she still said, “Not always.”
