Page 28 of Intoxicated
Chapter 9
DREW
I pound this stake into the earth like I pounded my dick into that woman three days ago.
BAM BAM BAM.Witness my hammer slam onto a piece of freshly cut wood. The dirt splits open, bits of leaves and soil flying everywhere as the stake goes in a little bit deeper each time. Watch as I keep thinking about sex.BAM BAM BAM.That’s about to be my thumb between hammer and stake.
A whistle flies out of me once I realize I’m about to kill my left thumb. Stepping back and wiping my hand on my jeans, I bend over and attempt to reclaim my breath. The fresh country air is heaven to my lungs, but it’s not clearing my head the way I want. I’ll be a lucky bastard if I can stop thinking about Cher for two seconds. The whole reason I’m out here in the middle of Nowhere, Washington, is so I can get away fromher.
And to help my lovely grandmother, who has lost another chicken since this portion of her fence went down last week. She doesn’t rely on the eggs to live, but I have a soft spot for animals, especially those that meet untimely ends because my jerk ass couldn’t get here faster to fix a damn fence.
The real reason I’m near Onalaska, though, is so I can get the hell away from Cher. I haven’t seen her since Tuesday afternoon, when she showed up and dared me to fuck her, but she’s been haunting my dreams and appearing on the back of my eyelids every time I close my eyes. I want to blame it on the mind-blowing hate sex we had. Anyone else, and that’s what I would say changed my perception of sex for a whole week.
Cher is not “anyone else,” though. She’s on a whole ‘nother level of mindfucking existence. She’s not merely a succubus out to suck me dry of my vitality. She’s out todestroy me,like I was out to ruin her. Except there’s no pay day in it for her. She flew by my apartment to chew me out, rip me open a new asshole, and to sink her teeth into my jugular the moment I came deep inside of herholy shit fucking hot pussy like God damn.
The hammer plops to the ground. I slowly stand up, crack my back, and shake my head. Sweat beads down my forehead. The old trucker hat – this one black and red, or at least I think it was always meant to beredand not some other color – clings to my hair. I sit back in the dirt. Arms wrap around my knees as I let out a sigh between my thighs.
Guess who’s hard! Again!
A man can’t touch himself in his grandmother’s house. It isn’t done, though this will be my second night camping out in my grandma’s guest room. I can jack off all day in my childhood home, though. Shit, that’s where I learned to do it! But in my grandma’s little farmhouse, with her CPAP machine whining two doors down from me? I’d rather die, thanks.
Maybe I came here to suffer, not to get over Cher. Plague my imagination with memories of her tight cunt and the feisty snarl painted across her face. The way she demanded I fuck her though we clearly detest one another on a spiritual level was so hot it’s a miracle I didn’t come sooner than I did. I give credit to the round I had with myself in the shower before she came to my door. It’s great for stamina.
“Is the fence done yet?” my grandmother’s voice booms from the porch. Birds clear from the trees around us. A bee buzzes away. The screen door slams behind my grandmother’s petite but hardy body. She wipes her hands on her apron and gives me her best scowl. “Why are you sleeping in my yard? That fence isn’t fixed!”
No, Gram, it sure isn’t!
“Had to take a break!” I lift my head to shout back. “Almost hammered my thumb!”
“You’ve got balls for brains or something?” She throws her hands up toward the clear blue sky. “Meanwhile, Henrietta is over here wondering where her best friend Lucrecia went. You know what happened to Lucrecia?SNAP!Right into the jowls of a coyote!”
“I know! Taking a break, that’s all!”
My grandmother grunts something at my expense before going back inside. I roll onto my side and stare at the expansive woods growing on the hillside behind my grandmother’s house. A few wisps of smoke announce that neighbors are burning something or other. The scent of pollen makes me grateful for my allergy medication.
This should be the perfect combination for clearing my head. I get to express myself in building my grandmother a new fence! You know me. I like to get crafty. And handsy. And be outdoors as much as possible, especially if I’m outside the cities.
Why isn’t it helping today?
Lord help me, I know why. Her name is Cher Lieberman, and she hasn’t left my thoughts for three whole days.
When the regret settled in after our hookup, she stole into my bathroom while I pounded my head against my pillow and chastised myself for being an absoluteidiot.Nice and dumb of me to fuck her raw. Then I had to go and come inside her? I don’t care if it sounded really hot at the time. That’snothow I usually roll. Don’t get me wrong. Like most men, I love a world of condomless sex. Only if that condomless sex comes with trust and sexual safety, though. I’ve been around the block enough times to know what’s out there. Seen more than one of my idiot friends get infected with God knows what because they convinced their girlfriends to leave the condoms in the nightstand. I should have insisted, instead of letting my happy dick do the damn talking. What does he know! His motives are completely against mine. I learned that the hard way when I slept with my family’s maid. One twenty years older than me, which I thought was tragically hot at the time. Now I’m embarrassed.
Like I’m embarrassed about Cher.
When she came out of my bathroom, it was with downcast eyes and her hypothetical tail tucked between her legs. We didn’t say a single word to each other as she grabbed her bag, checked its contents, and hauled ass out of my apartment. I haven’t seen or heard from her since.
