Page 32 of Intoxicated
I shake my head, convinced that I’ve lost every marble rolling around in there. After I grab my insurance card, I heave a mighty sigh and pick up my clipboard.1469…
I look up again.
Drew looks back at me, clipboard in hand.
There are moments in life that are too ridiculous to believe, aren’t there? Was itreallynot bold enough of the universe to throw this asshole in my direction in the first place? Now he’s at the same STD clinic as me? On thesame fucking day?It’s Monday. It’s literally been a week (well, minus a day) since I told him how much I loved the feeling of his dick inside of me. Bursting with cum, no less.
We maintain relentless eye contact. I pull my Starbucks drink out of my purse and give it a hearty sip. We’ll pretend he’s not thinking about me blowing him again.
“Cher?” A woman in scrubs steps out from the back room and looks at every feminine face before her.
I can’t leap up from this chair quickly enough. I don’t even fuck with Drew’s head by sauntering past him, ensuring that my skirt swishes. Get me the fuck away from him.
I’m still not convinced he’s an apparition. Then again, maybe he is, and that pot cloud I walked through to get here really fucked up my perception of the world. That was another scruffy Portland guy in flannel and a trucker hat.God damnit I slept with a guy wearing a trucker hat.Sorry. Had to get that out of my system. You know how it is. One moment you’re following a logical train of thought, and the next? You’ve derailed into Ohshitsville.
I’m weighed. I swab. I pee. I answer invasive questions that ask me about who I’m seeing, who I’ve slept with, and whether or not I think I’m in any danger. Yes. Danger. Does,“My pussy is out to get me by making me fuck the wrong dick”count? Because that’s all I can think about as the nurse takes my blood pressure and gives me a gown to change into.
We’ll tell ourselves that it wasn’t really Drew sitting out there. Only my brain playing tricks on me. We’ll keep our anxiety down so our blood pressure doesn’t crash through the roof. Things will go smoother that way.
“Not hearing from us is good news,” the doctor says as I finish my check-up. “We’ll let you know if there’s reason to come back for a follow-up.”
Nothing I’ve never heard before. Yet I get the usual,“I’m going to fucking die, aren’t I?”thoughts as I pick up my purse, thank the doctor, and head out to the reception to finalize my insurance. I glance into the waiting room and don’t see any men, let alone Drew Benton. It’s a new crew of patients awaiting their fates.Friendscontinues to play on the TV, but by the time I walk out there, I barely recognize anyone.
Thank God.
“Come here often?”
I stop at the top of the stairs leading down to the parking lot. I have a bus to catch if I want to make it back home within the hour. My alternative is calling a Lyft, but after what I went through, I’m not in the mood to get into cars with strangers.
Slowly, I turn. Sure enough, that’s the biggest douchebag I know standing like a creeper next to the clinic entrance.
Countdown until when he’s asked toleave.I’ll have my phone ready to take video and submit it to Reddit.
“What are you doing here?” I level my gaze at him. Although I’d rather look at the dirt on the bottom of my shoe, I refuse to let him think he’s bested me in any way. I will not submit to Drew Benton. Nor will I give him the satisfaction of looking at my ass when I’m turned around. “Are you stalking me?”
“Hardly,” he says with a snort. “What do you think I’m doing here? Getting checked out, like you. We don’t know where the other person has been.”
I lower my sunglasses. I’ll be damned if he can read any part of my soul behind my eyes. “You’re right. Good to see you’re taking good care of yourself, though. I’d hate to hear that either of us contracted something unsavory after… well, I’m sure you remember.”
He grins at me. “Only if you do.”
Typical. Men always want to gloat about the Conquests of Cunts. I’ll be sure to carry cigarettes so he can have a celebratory smoke the next time we meet.
“Still not convinced you’re not stalking me. Of all the clinics in Portland…”
“This one has the shortest wait times. Same reason you came all the way to this side of town instead of sticking to your neck of the woods. Did you make a donation? I left a sizable one. Should pay for some young lady’s birth control for the next eighty years.”
“Why are you gloating?” I ask.
“Why are you still here, if you detest me so much?”
“Why are you acting like youdon’tknow why I would detest you?”
Drew drops his arms. “Oh, I know why.” He motions for me to walk with him down the stairs. No wonder. There’s a couple coming up them, and they’re already looking at us like we shouldn’t be hanging around the door. I go on ahead. Drew is obnoxiously right behind me. “It’s because you can’t get enough of me, yet you despise everything I do and stand for.”
“Why wouldn’t I?” I round the corner and go down the final few steps leading to the parking lot. “My ex paid you to do God knows what. You could still be doing it right now.”
“I could be, but I’m not.” Like a chivalrous ass in a trucker hat, Drew opens the door for me. I glare at him as I step out into the warm spring sunlight. “That job was compromised when you made me. Nice work, by the way. Nobody’s ever done that before.”
