Page 38 of Intoxicated
Chapter 12
CHER
Do you think I don’t know what I’m doing or something? Of course going home with Drew can only result in one thing. We’re talking about a man I can barely stop thinking about. Particularly in a certainway.He won’t shut up about what happened last Tuesday, so I’m assuming he’s obsessed with it, too. Short of my period coming three days early, I can almost guarantee that I’m getting into bed with him tonight.
If I stay the night will be another matter.
What? How many times do I have to tell you that I’m not interested in your judgments? I don’t care if you’re breathing down my neck, ready to wring it out in utter frustration. Or maybe you think I deserve it. We both know what kind of man Drew Benton is by now. He’s really no better than me. Hell, is it possible for him to be worse than me? I won’t push my luck that far. You’ll think I’m crazy, if you already don’t.
Besides, it’s fate, isn’t it? Okay. So I don’t believe infate.I believe in fathomable coincidences. Granted, it’s pretty unfathomable that I would end up in the same clinic at thesame timeas Drew. I’m also not convinced he actually got checked out since he was in and out while I was seeing a different doctor. He claims “it goes faster for guys,” but I’m not sure I believe it. What if he really is stalking me? What if he really is still trying to manipulate me?
Then again, can you manipulate someone who knows exactly what you’re doing? What’s the point? This guy and I have given up the game. We’re probably gonna have one last bang and get each other officially out of our systems. Or, at least, I hope he’ll be.
I really don’t need a boyfriend. Let alone one who makes his living wrecking other women. Even if he’s not sleeping with them, those women think they’ll get to touch his cock, and I’m pretty damn possessive when I decide I like a guy.
He’s a bastard. I’m a bitch. What a pair we make.
But when you’re not trying to impress a guy – let alone asking him to dump half his riches on you – you don’t worry about silly things like your clothes and your perfume. You don’t care that you had watered-down margaritas at a dive bar right after walking out of an STD clinic. When he asks you what you should order in for dinner, you don’t hesitate to suggest the best Chinese place you know. The one that’s sure to make you smell like a winner in a few hours.
“I haven’t eaten at this place since they last sold it.” Drew munches on a spring roll as we sit on his couch, the TV blaring nonsense from Netflix. I keep my legs crossed and away from him as I stab chow mein and shove broccoli into my mouth. When I drop a large chunk of onion into my cleavage, I shove my dirty chopsticks down there and root it out. Into my mouth it goes.
Oh! What a lovely little burp. By little, I mean loud enough to make Drew jerk in his seat.
“That was you, huh?” he asks, one eyebrow raised as if he can’t believe I’m capable of such volume. “Impressive. Here I had been holding them in.”
I pull my legs up onto the couch, bare feet pressed against his leg. My chopsticks stab what’s left of my dinner. Someone on TV tells a baking contestant that they’ll have a better shot at finger-painting a grand masterpiece than achieving their dreams in cake decorating. I have to agree. It really is atrocious what appears on the giant TV Drew has. “Why? Are you attempting to keep me from running off? I don’t see the point. I already know how nasty you are. Why shouldn’t you know how nastyIam?”
“Indeed, why shouldn’t I?” He tosses his empty take-out box onto the coffee table and slumps down in his seat. The moment his jeans come undone, I know we’re not talking sexy. He’s pulling the old,“I ate too much and now I have a food baby,”move. Aw. Look. It must be at least five months along. “You already know how hairy it gets down there.”
“That reminds me. My crotch really itches because I haven’t touched it up since we last hooked up.”
“Aw, don’t tell me you waxed your little lady for me.”
“I don’t do it for anyone but myself, thank you.”
“That’s what you ladies tell yourself.”
I shove another piece of broccoli into my mouth. Speaking of bloating… oof. I may be wearing a dress, but the cinched waist is going to kill me if I don’t adjust it. Got a food baby of my own cooking in there. I blame the fact that I’m eating chow meinandfried rice. When he asked me what I wanted from the take-out menu, I told him to fuck me up. I hear we have dumplings for dessert.
“Being a woman is complicated,” I say with a sigh. “You like the feel of smooth, hairless skin on your body, but there’s no denying that the ones in society who benefit from it the most are the men selling us the products.”
“Whoa. Feminism and anti-capitalism duringmyChinese take-out dinner?” Drew laughs. “You really are from around here.”
“Just because I take men to the cleaners every few months doesn’t mean I haven’t read any books. I also went to college and took some gender studies courses, juuuust like you.”
“Wow,” he whispers. “This whole time the perfect woman for me has been in Portland. Who knew?”
