Page 105 of Purchase Power
He cut her off before she sank into despair. “I forgive you, Lucy. Do you forgive me?”
She hesitated. Did she know what she was being forgiven for, or did she need it spelled out for her?She’s a clever girl. I’m sure she knows why I have had mixed feelings toward her.Yes, he loved her. Unmistaken. But he was also willing to admit when such love was a mistake.
“I forgive you for withholding the truth,” she said. “I understand why you did it, but you have to understand why it mademeangry. Everything was a half-truth that I had to piece together. You weren’t being very forthcoming. When you kissed me that night, I thought things were going to change. I thought I was going to leave my original plans behind and become your official girlfriend or something. Because you know what? I did what every woman in my position should have never done. I caught feelings for you.”
Noah should have been elated to hear such a confession. “I did more than catch feelings for you, Lucy,” he said. “That night I met you in New York, I was prepared to confess my love to you. My genuine romantic love.”
Lucy’s demeanor deflated. “I had been hoping. Before I was angry at you for kicking me out then standing me up, I had been hoping for a love confession. Or at least what passed for one with you. For all I knew, that meant kissing my hand and inviting me to come back and meet your mother.”
Noah chuckled. “That would have been something. As it is, my mother has probably forgotten you exist.” He looked away. Otherwise, the following words would have been mired in his rising lust for her. “We could fix that, though. When this is over, I’d be more than happy to properly introduce you to her. As my girlfriend.”
What was the energy radiating off Lucy? Was it shame? Temptation? Desire? Abhorrence? Noah could no longer read her. Probably because he had never properly known her.
“Is that you confession, Noah?” Something was caught in her throat. No matter how much she tried to clear it away, however, she was still making distressed sounds. Lest Noah become concerned, however, she continued, “Is that how you wish to confess your love to me? By inviting me to meet your mother?”
Noah shook his head. “No. You deserve better than me at my most mediocre. Lucy…” He stood, feet slowly bringing him to her chair. Although he loomed over her subtle figure, he had never felt so small. So vulnerable.
So intimate.
“I love you, Lucy. That much has been clear to me for some time.” He lowered himself to his knees, arms folding near her shoulders. “You are more than the type of kind soul this house desperately needs. You ignite something within me that I didn’t even know was there. When I went to that club on my birthday, I didn’t expect to meet a woman I might see as my future wife. I expected to piss away another month of my life with someone I’d forget as soon as it was over. Instead, I saw you. I know it doesn’t sound romantic in the slightest, but when you looked right through that double-sided mirror into…”
Lucy pressed a finger against his lips. “I remember that night, thank you. Do you know whatIremember, Noah?” She lowered her finger.
“What?” His breath was no longer his own. It wasn’t hers, either. It belonged to the embers simmering in the fireplace and the trees rustling outside the window. It was the invisible air between them, as Lucy leaned forward, her breath now on his lips.
“I remember being so nervous. I had never done something like that before. I realized in that crazy moment before you came to see me that this could be a traumatic experience. And for what? Money? Was it really worth it to sell myself to some rich guy who probably didn’t know a conscience from the dirt on the bottom of his shoe?”
“But?” Noah prompted.
“Then I saw you. You were nothing like I expected. Which wasn’t a good or a bad thing. Yet I remember thinking that you were more than handsome. You had an aura that made me instantly trust you, as crazy was it was to do so. I mean, come on, the first thing you did was tell me how it was and then bent me over and fucked me. And I started falling in love with you right there! How fucking crazy is that?”
Noah wouldn’t do it outwardly, but hearing her description of that night made him want to shiver.In disgust toward myself. In desire for her.“I remember well. I remember thinking that you were one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen, and I could do whatever I wanted to you right then. I got off on it, though. You are right. I was damaged by what happened during my childhood as well. A part of me was always trying to relive my own sense of twisted reality that I had developed since my stepfather came into my life. Taking control of my sex life meant buying escorts and having my way with them. Maybe I wasn’t much better than him.”
“Noah Gabriel,” Lucy whispered in admonishment. “You are nothing like him. For one thing, I trusted you. I trusted that if I wanted it to stop, you would have stopped.”
“I would have, yes.”
“Because you’re a better man than you give yourself credit for. Trust me. I wouldn’t be afraid to tell you to fuck off right now, even after everything you’ve done for my sister and me. So if I’m saying that, it’s true. You’re a good man. And… and I love you.”
Although his heart fluttered, Noah wouldn’t count this as his ultimate win quite yet. “I wanted to kiss you, Lucy. That first time we met, I wanted to kiss you. That’s what I was going to claim as mine. Except I was afraid of my own desire for intimacy, so I turned you around so I wouldn’t have to look at your beautiful face while we did the deed.”
She snorted. “You make it sound way less romantic than it kinda was.”
“Making sure you agree it was actually romantic.”
“Well, ifyouagree…” Lucy turned her head before Noah had the chance to reach across the chair and kiss her. “So, what now? We’ve apologized. We’ve said we love each other.” She slowly met his gaze once again. Still too far away to kiss, but close enough to love. “What’s there left to do? Where do we go from here? I don’t want to wait until the pandemic is over and I get to meet your mother before we do… something…”
Noah couldn’t help but grin. “Perhaps we should celebrate with something sweeter.”
He didn’t mean Champagne. He meant a kiss, and that was exactly what Lucy gifted him in the following second, when their lips tenderly touched and Noah had to hold back everything screaming at him to grab her, love her, and show her how much she truly meant to him.
Especially when that proof would not be gentle.
