Page 21 of Purchase Power
She glanced at him as if she didn’t quite believe that.
“I promise.”
They stewed in the silence of Noah’s quarters before Stacey finally exited the room. She forgot to close the door behind her, giving Noah an excuse to raise from his seat, pick up the Pawn, and latch his door. He leaned against the sturdy wood, examining the carved deer bone in his hand.
Chess. Horse riding. Books and even video games, although the games didn’t really appeal to Noah like they did Stacey. Those were what brought them together. Those were what soothed Stacey’s traumatized soul and allowed her to forget what she went through as a child. They also happened to soothe Noah’s soul as well.My main vice will always be sex with women I shouldn’t be with, though.It had started with his swim instructor when he was sixteen. The woman had “only” been twenty, but upon reflection, Noah was so concerned about the inappropriate nature of how he lost his virginity. Something his contemporaries and friends like David never thought about, because it had always beensoimportant to score with an older chick.Yet I knew what I was doing. I mean, I didn’t. I was sixteen. But I knew what I wanted.It hadn’t simply been about his attraction to the young woman’s muscular swimmer’s body or how she moved in the water. It was knowing she was older. That it was inappropriate. That his swim instructor could end up in jail if Noah’s parents found out and pressed charges.
He wanted them to find out. He wanted his mother Tonya and his stepfather Ronald to be aghast that an older person had taken advantage of a horny teenaged boy. He wanted the irony to drip from the walls and drown both of his parents.
Noah looked down. His palm was wrapped around the deer-bone Pawn, his nails digging into his skin and his knuckles turning whiter by the second.
If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s conflating sex with punishment.Unlike some of his contemporaries, however, he didn’t think of his partner’s punishment.
It was always about punishing himself.
