Page 33 of Purchase Power
Chapter 10
Noah’s hand trembled as he placed his coffee cup on his desk early Tuesday morning. He had slept like shit, his heart thumping in his chest and his brain full of the toxic crap he had kept at bay for so many years.I’m thirty-fucking-years-old. I shouldn’t be kept up at night by things that happened when I was a child.That’s what therapists were for. Not that he had seen his in an age. It became too difficult to go into the city every time he wanted to talk to Dr. Wex, and the therapist was too busy with other patients to make exceptions for visiting Noah once or twice a week in his country manor house. Besides, Stacey’s therapists and doctors were in and out of the house all week. Noah saw enough doctors in his life, even if he wasn’t the one talking to them beyond,“How is she doing? Are you being paid well?”
Yet the shaking coffee cup – which had already splashed a little hot coffee on his fingers – was a sign that he needed to slow down and take stock of what had happened.
Lucy.Lucyhad happened.
If only Noah hadn’t indulged in a birthday present to himself. Any other birthday, and he would have bought Lucy for a night and nothing more. He would have thrust his pain and frustrations into her to the point he exhausted himself, but that allowed him to pick up his fragile pieces and get on with his life. That’s what it was all about. Breaking. Picking up. Moving on.
Breaking again.
Maybe I shouldn’t have more caffeine.He stared at the cream settling into his coffee as if it were a hypnotic whirlpool.Yet I’m too tired without it.Birthday presents. Why did he bother? Why did he think turning thirty meant he had to have a woman for thirty days? Then again, some people got spanked, and others fucked.
Some did both.
Lucy, at the very least, was meant to be a convenient outlet for his sexual frustrations. Her body was a temple fit for defiling, and her angelic features perfect for ripping down from Heaven. Every ounce of rage and toxic drop of madness inside of Noah Gabriel was hers for purification. She was properly compensated, wasn’t she?
Why does she have to be so perfect?
Noah always forgot how hot she was until they were in the same room together. He didn’t even mean the sweet curve of her body or the supple lips – and breasts! – that enticed him every time she got a little naked. Or a lotta naked. No, Noah was infatuated with that mischievous glint in her eyes and the way her mouth dropped every time he came for her.Came for her… yes. That’s how I think of it.His orgasms may have been relieving in more ways than one, but every time his mind left his body, he swore he was giving her the only gift he had.
He simply didn’t know what that meant. Yet.
“Mr. Gabriel?” Candace lightly knocked on the half-open door. “Dr. Stevenson called to say he will be a half hour late for Stacey’s appointment this morning. He apparently had a family emergency and expresses his sincerest apologies.”
Noah sighed. These things were inevitable and, perhaps, in other mansions where women like Stacey didn’t have to work and could ride horses all day, it wouldn’t matter. Except this was Stacey. Being ten minutes late to dinner was grounds for a meltdown. In her room was a giant whiteboard calendar that the doctors and Candace helped her fill out month-to-month. Stacey claimed that one of the most satisfying activities was taking the big, red marker and slicing through the days one at a time. Whenever the month at the top of the calendar was erased and replaced with the next one, her eyes grew big with anticipation. She knew all of the months of the year, yet in those moments, she never remembered what came next. Would it be spring? Fall? Was it Christmastime?
Last month had been January. Noah’s birthday had been written in big, purple letters. The closer they got to it, the more excited Stacey became until she surprised him with a scarf she had crocheted.“I worked all year on it,”she announced, bouncing between both of her feet.“It’s your favorite colors. It’s cold outside. Please please please wear it.”
The dark blue and purple scarf was hung up on the coat rack by the office door. Every time Noah looked at it, he sighed.
Then he thought of Lucy, with her grabbable ass and the feral sounds she made when Noah fucked her like he had been starved for sexual release.
That wasn’t true, though. He had partners. He had women he picked up at fundraisers, flirted with at the country club, and arranged to sleep with through a happy liaison. The few he deigned to kiss had the title ofGirlfriend,and the last one hadn’t been oh so long ago. So why was he like this? Why did he act like a wild animal around that woman?
Because she was kept in a cage? Ready to serve him at any moment?
He sipped his coffee. It needed more cream, but he was too lazy to get up and grab it from the table. Candace caught his glance and fetched the creamer before he could ask. Not that he would. Noah had some pride, after all.
“Stacey will not like that,” he finally said. Candace poured more creamer into his coffee while he looked the other way. “Who is watching her this morning?”
“I have Demetria cleaning Stacey’s room while she catches up on her morning cartoons. I can have her distract Stacey as long as possible, but I may have to intervene along with Hubert if she starts… you know. Acting up.” That last bit was whispered.
“Kindly call Dr. Stevenson back and ask him to hurry as safely as possible. He knows better than anyone what a disruption to her schedule does.” The man was low-key studying Stacey for a paper he was writing about childhood trauma and the importance of control as an adult. One of the ways Stacey felt safest was by setting her own schedule and sticking to it. Every. Single. Day.
A change to the schedule, from going on vacation, to Noah going on a business trip, to Dr. Stevenson being half an hour late for their thrice-weekly sessions, meant Stacey lost some of the control in her life. Some days she was better at handling it than others, but after the accident the day before, Noah was not convinced this would be a good day for changing the schedule.
“Yes, Mr. Gabriel.” Candace stepped back. “Ah, about Ms. Craig…”
The color drained from his face. “Yes? Has something happened?”
“I dropped off her breakfast before coming to see you. She’s told me she’s getting ‘cabin fever’ and wants to go for a walk outside.”
Noah rubbed his fingers against his temple. “I see. While I feel for her, please tell her that today is not a good day.” Between all the work he had to do and possibly mitigating Stacey’s impending meltdown, there was simply no time to arrange a chauffeured walk for Ms. Craig. “If she has excess energy, I will see to it.” The moment he said it, he realized whatthatsounded like.Oh, God.“I mean, I will arrange for my personal trainer to see her as well.”
Candace nodded, but the stiff shoulders and hand pressing against her midsection indicated she did not agree with her employer’s decisions. Or, maybe, she also dreaded how Stacey might react to Dr. Stevenson’s late arrival.
“I know, I know.” Noah held his hands up to Candace as she rounded the desk. “Not the same as letting her have free-roam of the woods outside.”
