Page 99 of Purchase Power
“You think that’s what bothers me?” Noah snorted. “That’s not what tortures me at night. It’s… you know, Stacey has always been a gentle soul. She’s always been sweet, nurturing, and wants to be everyone’s friend. Me? I was a caustic little shit. I didn’t care if people thought I was nice or wanted to be my friend. I handled things a lot better than she ever did. If that bastard had to go after anyone, it should have been me. Maybe I…” Had he realized what he was saying to a woman who was still a relative stranger to his family? “Maybe I would have born it better than she ever could. Maybe I’d be okay right now.”
Lucy took the first step toward him she had mustered since returning to Gabriel Manor. “Noah,” she softly said. “You know that’s not true.” She took his hand. They both looked at the gesture as if it were new. Novel. The first time they ever exchanged warmth between their palms. “It has nothing to do with how strong you are. That’s a ridiculous assessment to assign achild.Which you were when this all happened, if I may remind you.”
He said nothing.
“Noah,” Lucy reiterated, yet with a firmer voice. “You were a child. She was a child. It didn’t matter who in your house he targeted. The ends would have probably been the same. You couldn’t save her by diverting his attention even if you wanted. It sounds like you did the best you could with nobody watching out for you two. Your sister didn’t have the chance to grow up. It sounds like you grew up much too soon so you could protect her and take on these burdens.”
“I suppose.” He squeezed her hand. “It’s difficult for me to put into words how much it stresses me out. I think about it every day, though. Even when I’m away from this house… even when I don’t talk to Stacey for a whole weekend… I constantly think about it. Honestly, the only times I’m given a break from everything I saw and heard all those years ago is when I’m working. Or when I’m…” Noah looked away. Was he… blushing? “When I’m with someone who takes me to another world.”
The apologetic look implied he knew that was cheesy, yet Lucy offered him a small smile. “When you’re with a woman, I suppose.”
“It’s so asinine, isn’t it?” Noah cleared his throat, refocusing his attentions on her. “Lucy, when I met you, I certainly didn’t have any plans for you other than using you as a convenient escape from my daily life. Perhaps that wasn’t fair of me, but tobefair, the arrangement was one I thought you were in on.”
“Yeah. Guess I misled you in different ways.”
“That’s neither here nor there, now. I’m honestly rather relieved to hear you’re not actually a professional escort. I mean, it’s not great that you lied to get some story, but it means that you and I might have a chance together. If you’ll still have me, that is.”
She didn’t know why that surprised her.Now, of all times? Is he confessingnow? It was on brand for the man. Hewouldpick the most inconvenient time to say some form of I love you.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I won’t lie to you anymore, Noah. I was harboring feelings for you, but the things you kept from me, and the way you did it, made me feel like none of it mattered. You only saw me as a woman to buy for pleasure. Which, yes, to be fair, is what I signed up for in my own selfish way. I certainly did not plan on falling in…” She stopped. “I didn’t plan to catch feelings for you.”
“I suppose you didn’t expect me to be thirty and fairly good looking, either.”
“I still struggle to understand why a man who can have whoever he wants would indulge in such a thing for a month. But, having lived in your house for so long and getting to know you better… I see it now. It’s because you’re so withdrawn after everything you’ve witnessed in your family. For fuck’s sake, Noah, you were driven to beating up your own stepfather when you were a teenager! That would make me withdrawn, too.”
“If I may add,” he interjected, ‘it’s also easier to keep your emotional distance when the woman you’re sleeping with every day is only there because you paid her to be.”
Lucy couldn’t help but smile. And take his hand.Andlean against his shoulder. “You’re not totally in my good graces, but I’m sure I’m not in yours, either. Not after the article I wrote.”
“I understand why, but I wish you hadn’t. Do I hear it got you a job, though?”
“You’re looking at a new contributing columnist toModern New York Woman.”
“The man who owns the publishing conglomerate is the father of a friend of mine,” Noah wistfully said. “So, yes, I know of it. Congratulations. You had a powerful way with words in your work. I only wish I hadn’t read that book so I wouldn’t know exactly who you were comparing me to.”
“I can’t believe I compared your sister toBertha.”
Noah chuckled. A strained, earthy chuckle, but at least he was enjoying some form of amusement. “My sister is a lot of things, but a mad woman in the attic is not one of them. At least, I hope not. She’s a kind soul. In fact…” He took a step forward, Lucy’s hand still in his. “How would you like to go meet her?”
“Huh?”
“My sister. Would you like to meet her? She won’t stop talking about you. In fact, she’s probably grillingyoursister right now about you.”
Lucy hesitated. “Does she know about us?” she whispered.
“Ah, well… she understands marriage and love. For all of our sake’s, regardless of the state of her mind, we don’t need her knowing about what we’ve done, specifically. Even under the best of circumstances, that would not be wise. Probably traumatic for any sister of mine.”
Lucy didn’t know whether to laugh or chastise him for bringing up sex between them so quickly. She wasn’t sure where she rested on the great divide between them. She wasn’t prepared to fully forgive him yet – and, indeed, she needed to work to gain his forgiveness for her own transgressions as well.
But that could all come later. For now, it was a big enough step to agree to meet his sister, the mysterious woman roaming the halls of Gabriel Manor.
They left their own half-eaten dinners behind and headed down the hallway. It didn’t take long for them to approach the door that led to the fairy-tale hideaway Lucy had discovered earlier. Noah didn’t knock. He simply opened the door, and with Lucy’s hand in his, led her down the tight hallway that opened up into a grander, more festive room.
Stacey’s chambers were a riot of pinks, purples, and sunset yellows. One wall was painted to look like a forest, while the other framed the windows in a way that made each one look like a portal to another dimension. Colorful bookcases full of rare prints of favorite children’s classics and board games that looked like they had seen their use lined the walls. Stuffed animals were carefully placed here and there. One corner of the room was dedicated to a large doll house, carport, and fancily-dressed Barbies. A costume box allowed Stacey to transform herself into a princess or a witch at any moment’s notice.
For dinner, she had dressed in a feather boa and a plastic tiara. She sat at a sturdy table by one of the windows and played Sorry! with Lacey, who wore kitty ears on her head and paws on her hands. Neither of them noticed Noah and Lucy until they were close enough to see that Stacey was somehow winning by a landslide.
“Noah!” Stacey nearly knocked over the game as she leaped out of her seat and held her feather boa above her head. Noah let go of Lucy’s hand and helped his sister calm down with a simple touch to her shoulder. “Check it out! Lacey knows how to play Sorry! Now you don’t have any excuses. You have to learn how to…” She caught sight of Lucy behind him. For some reason, Lucy was inclined to shy away. “Ahh! Lucy! It’s you! It’s finally you!”
