He’s more confident in his skin now, and I wonder what has changed.
A girl.
Of course, there’s a girl.
Eddie didn’t tell me. I just know.
Today, when he came in, he was the closest to the Eddie I met in Hawaii that I’ve seen since that terrible night. Handsome. Competent. In control.
He couldn’t pull off that kind of turnaround by himself. I know Eddie. He is at his best when he has someone to reflect off of, someone to besomeonefor.
I wondered who she was. Some woman from the neighborhood? Someone I knew? I try to imagine him with Emily orCampbell, with Landry Cole, but it’s almost impossible. Eddie didn’t like those women, always said they were boring compared to me.
At night, I lie on the bed, and I try to picture her, this new woman I know Eddie has in his thrall.
Is she younger than me? Prettier?
Does she know what he is?
When Eddie came up tonight, he was a little drunk.
That was a first.
He brought me a bottle of wine, too.
Okay, a small box of wine, the type that holds three glasses. No corkscrews or glass for me, I guess, but still, I hadn’t had wine in so long, and the first sip went straight to my head.
Eddie sat on the bed next to me, his hand on my thigh, but he didn’t make any move to take it further than that, even though I wanted him to.
I hated myself for it, but I still wanted him to.
“You’re seeing someone, aren’t you?” I asked.
I was drunk enough to say it.
He was drunk enough to answer.
“I am.”
I’d been expecting that, but it still slammed into me, the words causing physical pain.
I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
“Who?” I asked, and his eyes clouded over a little as he looked away, his hand sliding from my leg.
“No one you know.”
That was all he would say.
He left right after that, brushing a kiss against my temple, and now I’m lying here, tears soaking my pillow.
They should be tears of fear. If Eddie has met someone, how much longer is he going to keep me in here? Surely, I’m a huge liability to him now.
But I’m not afraid.
I’m… angry.
Hurt.