Page 19 of Reckless Girls
Of how I had put my life in Nico’s hands, and he nearly let me go.
BEFORE
There’s a girl on Nico’s boat.
In the month since Lux walked out of the Cove holding Nico’s hand, she’s seen people on board theSusannah.Nico has a never-ending rotation of friends stopping by, but they’ve always been guys, men who look a lot like Nico. Tanned, beautiful, teeth so straight and white that they can only be the result of thousands of dollars of orthodontia. They all smell like Nico, too, that mix of salt and motor oil that Lux has gotten so used to.
There’s never been a girl before.
But there’s one now. As Lux makes her way down the dock, arms full of grocery bags, she sees her, a girl with long dark hair standing on the deck of theSusannah.It’s late afternoon, early evening, really, and she is limned in golden light. She’s wearing a floral sundress that flutters against her legs, and there’s an expensive-looking leather tote hanging from one shoulder. Her arms are folded tight across her slender torso, and as Lux watches, one hand darts up, swiping at her cheek beneath huge sunglasses.
She’s crying.
Nico is standing across from her, one hand braced on the mast, his face set in an expression Lux hasn’t seen yet.
He looks… bored? But there’s also something about the stiff way he’s holding himself, the rigidity of his posture, that sets little alarm bells ringing in her head.
Lux is hit with a memory, of sitting in the front seat of her mom’s Honda Civic, the day they left for California. She wastwelve, slumped in the passenger seat, watching through the window as her parents stood in the front yard of their house.
Except it’shishouse now,she remembers thinking. Her mom had been saying something, shaking her head, but her dad had just stood there, his posture casual, hands shoved in pockets. Everything about him had felt like a locked door, and Lux knew her mom no longer had the key.
That’s how Nico looks right now. Whatever this girl is saying to him, he’s nodding and listening, but she’s not getting in.
Lux has nearly made it to their slip, her sneakers quiet on the faded wood of the dock, and Nico sees her, lifting his chin slightly in her direction even as the corners of his mouth briefly turn down.
The girl turns around, and even behind the sunglasses, Lux can feel her eyes taking in everything about her: her red hair, the groceries in her arms, Nico’s blue plaid button-down thrown over her bathing suit top.
The girl’s lips purse, and then she faces Nico again.
“So, I guess we’re done, then,” she says, and he tilts his head back, looking up at the sky. “We’ve been done, Suz.”
“Right.”
The girl rests a hand on the mast before going to step off the boat, her wedge sandals squeaking on the deck.
As she passes her on the dock, Lux is hit with her scent, something fresh and clean, which seems to hover around her in a mist.
“So, you’re the newest project,” she says, and Lux is momentarily speechless. “He’s a big fan of projects,” the girl continues, and now there’s something ugly in the curl of her mouth, something disdainful. “Good luck.”
With that, she’s gone in a swirl of her skirt, that cloud of expensive perfume, leaving Lux holding a bag of wilting lettuce and rapidly melting pistachio ice cream.
Looking to Nico, she raises her eyebrows. “Wanna fill me in?”
He sighs, coming across the deck to take the groceries out of her hands. “It’s nothing.”
“Didn’t seem like nothing.”
“We dated for a little bit, she was pissed at how it ended, guess she thought she needed to tell me so in person. Again.”
Lux follows Nico onto theSusannah,the deck swaying gently. “After a month?”
When Nico just looks at her over his shoulder, Lux tries to ignore the sudden coldness in the pit of her belly.
“I mean,” she starts, shoving her hands in the back pockets of her shorts, “we’ve been together for a month now. So, obviously, you two broke up before that.”
“Right, like I said,” Nico continues, reaching out with one hand to slide open the door to the cabin, “it’s nothing.”
Lux follows him down the steps into the cabin, the light dim, squinting as Nico begins putting the groceries away.
