Page 20 of Reckless Girls
He leaves for Maui in a week, maybe two, and they haven’t talked about what that means for them. It’s new, after all, this thing. Yeah, it got really serious really fast—Lux is more or less living on board the boat these days, which is definitely an improvement over her shitty shoebox of an apartment—but maybe Nico has always just seen this as a temporary arrangement.
Lux knows she loves him, even though she hasn’t said it out loud yet. There’s never been anyone like Nico before, not for her. Sure, she’s dated other guys, but it was never serious, never thisall infeeling she has with him, like they’re real partners.
A team.
She thinks he might love her, too, but she keeps waiting for those magic words—come to Maui with me.So far, nothing.
She thinks of the person she used to be, the brave girl who thought she was tough, who didn’t think the world could touch her—the person she was before her mom died. That girl would have just come right out and asked:Hey, can I come with you?Sometimes she can feel the question pressing against the back of her teeth, and a part of her brain says to just go for it, for fuck’s sake, so what if he says no?
But this other Lux—this newer, still fragile Lux—is too scared of popping the bubble she’s been able to live in the past month, and so here she is, just… waiting.
Suz.
Nico had called her Suz.
Leaning against the wall, Lux crosses her arms over her chest. “Was that Susannah?” she asks. “As in, the namesake of this boat, Susannah?”
Nico still has his back to her as he puts bananas in the little mesh bag hanging over the sink, and she sees his shoulders rise and fall.
“Yeah, that was her,” he says, “but it was—”
“Nothing, yeah, I know,” Lux replies curtly.
Turning around, Nico braces both hands on the sink. “We dated in college,” he says, looking her in the eye. “For a couple of years. We were young and stupid, but we were together when I got the boat, and I named it after her because I’m a romantic dude. As you well know.”
He gives her a little grin at that, the one that makes his dimples deepen, and even though she hates herself for it, Lux feels a little of her anger drain away.
Nico is good at that.
Stepping forward now, he takes her hands in his, lifting one to kiss her knuckles. “Want me to rename it?” he asks. “TheLux? The SSMcAllister?”
Rolling her eyes, Lux lets him pull her in, his arms going easily around her waist. “Maybe,” she says, and he grins again as he leans in to kiss the tip of her nose.
“Or, better yet, how about you come with me to Maui in a week?”
Lux’s heart leaps.
There it is, the question she’s been waiting for. She knows she’s going to say yes, but there’s still something dark hovering around the edges of her joy. Why did he have to ask her now, when she still feels like there’s something he’s not telling her about Susannah?
She thinks again about the girl’s tears, about her snarling lip.
So, you’re his newest project.
What does that even mean? And why would a girl he’d broken up with months ago be here crying on his boat, still so hurt, so angry?
Nico kisses her then, softly, quickly. “You’re thinking so hard,” he says, reaching up to push her hair back from her face.
“I just…” she starts, but she doesn’t want to finish that sentence, doesn’t want to bring up Susannah again.
She doesn’t want answers she knows she won’t like.
Don’t be stupid. Life is short. There’s nothing here for you. Go to Maui.
So she does.
NOW
EIGHT
