Page 29 of Reckless Girls
“I like you, Lux,” Amma says once we settle down. “I mean, I knew when we met you that you were obviously cool, but now I really like you.”
It’s pathetic the way those words warm me, pathetic how much I’ve missed being accepted by other women, having this kind of easy camaraderie. It makes me think about how I felt just a few minutes ago, floating in all that clear water. Like I could just exist as someone in the present, no past, no worries about the future.
Fuck, that would be nice.
Amma smiles at me from behind her sunglasses. “And as we’ve discussed, I don’t like people that easily,” she says, “so it’s a very high bar.”
She’s teasing, but I’m remembering what I felt in the water, that urge to kick her to save myself.
You’re a survivor,Brittany had said after the storm. Maybe that’s all it was, some deep human instinct of self-preservation.
But something about that image—Amma in the water, blood in her mouth—stays with me for the rest of the day.
ELEVEN
We’ve been on Meroe for four days before we decide to tackle the jungle.
From the deck of theSusannah, the island is a paradise. Coconut palms rise up to the sky, the water laps against a white shore, and everything is postcard-perfect.
But the interior of the island is different.
I know Nico said that the island was used as a landing point during World War II, and that there’s an old airstrip somewhere in there, but studying all these trees now, it’s hard to believe. The island seems impenetrable and dark, and I don’t know why we can’t just do what we do every day—swim, walk on the beach, drink. That’s a lot closer to my idea of a good time than hacking our way through jungle just to see some old war shit.
But Nico and Jake were super pumped about the whole thing, calling it “an adventure,” so I’m trying—again—to be the cool girlfriend, who is up for anything. Sometimes I think if I can just keep pretending to be her enough, I’ll eventually become her.
Brittany and Eliza are both wearing similar expressions ofresigned indulgence. Amma, on the other hand, has been right at Nico’s side, asking a million questions: how long is the airstrip, when was it in use, did people actually live here, on and on, and Nico is, of course, eating it up even though most of his answers boil down to, “Um… I don’t know.”
Next to me, Eliza nudges my arm. “Should we be taking notes?” she asks in a low voice, nodding at Amma, and I snort.
“Some people are definitely acting like there’s a test later,” I whisper a little too loudly. Amma glances over at me sharply, even though I don’t think she actually heard what I said.
But maybe she picked up on the tone, because she steps away from Nico, sulkily folding her arms across her body.
She runs hot and cold, that girl. Brittany and I had spent the day after the almost shark attack on theAzure Sky, and Amma hadn’t joined us, hanging out on theSusannahinstead. It didn’t seem to bug Brittany, but I could hear them whispering in their cabin at night, and I wondered if they’d been arguing.
Not for the first time, I’m glad Jake and Eliza are here, too. Having extra people definitely helps defuse any possible tension.
The six of us stand there on the beach, looking into the jungle. Nico and Jake each hold machetes, both of which came from theAzure Sky.It had seemed like an insane amount of macho overkill at first, but now, as I stare into the thick vegetation just a few feet from shore, it makes sense.
“So, you guys are seriously going to hack through this shit like Rambo?” Brittany asks, one hand on her hip, her eyebrows raised.
“Only way to do it, love,” Jake replies. He’s not quite as well put-together today, trading his shorts and button-downs for an old T-shirt and a baggy pair of khakis, an ancient pair of sneakers on his feet.
The machete makes a whizzing noise as Nico swings it, thwacking into a thick vine with a sound that’s both damp and meaty,making me shudder a little. “Fucking sick,” he mutters, little-boy excitement gleaming in his eyes, and Eliza laughs.
“God, you are such a dude.”
She over-enunciates, drawing out the vowel,duuuuude,and Nico laughs, too, shrugging.
“It’s fun. You wanna try?”
He hands her the machete, and she wraps her fingers around the handle, testing the weight of it before swinging. Her stroke isn’t nearly as hard as Nico’s, and the blade gets stuck in the vine she was attempting to slice.
“Bugger me,” she says, tugging, and Jake steps forward, adding his grip to hers as they pull the machete back.
“Harder than it looks, eh?”
As the blade pops out, Eliza staggers back a little, bumping her back into Jake’s chest, and he uses the opportunity to duck his head and press a kiss to her neck.
