Page 76 of Reckless Girls
I still can’t comprehend that he left me here. But then again, I never would have thought he would cheat on me, right under my nose. The truth is, I have no idea what Nico might be capable of. The Nico I met in San Diego, the Nico who promised to show me the world, he wouldn’t do this.
But Nicholas Johannsen III? Who the fuck knows?
My mind flashes back to Susannah, standing on that dock, her eyes red.Good luck.Alongside the immediate fear ofhow the fuck will I get off this island,there’s a deeper anxiety that I can’t shake—that I had been willing to put my faith in a man I never really knew. Never really cared to know. Like everything else in my life, I just let it—letNico—happen to me. He was cute, he liked me, he offered me an escape. And I took it, ignoring so much shit that I shouldn’t have, and now I’m here, on this island in the middle of nowhere, no boat, no clothes, no way of contacting the outside world.
No Nico.
I had been looking for an escape, and now I am quite literally trapped.
I’m still sitting on the beach when the sun sinks below the horizon. My eyes strain for that flash of green Nico always told me you could see if you looked carefully. But there’s nothing. Another empty promise.
The sky fades from pinkish-orange to lavender to deep purple until finally the sky is navy blue, the stars so bright they stand out like sequins on an evening gown.
I don’t realize I’m crying until I taste the salt on my lips.
TWENTY-SIX
I swim back to the boat, no longer caring what might be lurking in the dark water.
I hear Jake and Eliza talking and laughing, the hiss and clink of beers being opened.
Nico has been missing the entire day, and these assholes sit here acting like everything is fine, like it’s just another night in paradise.
When I haul myself onto the deck, Eliza looks over at me, eyes going wide.
“Jesus, Lux,” she says. “Are you alright?”
Pushing my wet hair out of my face, I glare at her. “What do you fucking think? Nico isn’t back,” I say, shaking my head. “And I don’t know where the fuck Amma is, either. Have you guys just been… sitting here all fucking day?”
Jake sighs, putting his beer down and crossing the deck to embrace me. I jerk away from him, nearly stumbling.
“Why is no one worried?” I shout. “Why do none of you give a fuck? Nico isgone.Theboatis gone. Robbie fucking died out there, and Amma is just—what, spending the night in the jungle?”
Standing on the deck of theAzure Sky,it’s hard to remember that first night here, just over two weeks ago, when I’d let myself believe I’d found something like a home with these people.
What had felt cozy then feels oppressive now, the water dark around us, locking us in.
Nico could be in that water.
Brittany emerges from the cabin, a cartoonish expression of concern on her face.
“What’s going on?”
“Lux is upset about Nico,” Eliza says, her tone just shy of patronizing.
I feel like I’ve stepped into some kind of twilight zone. Why is everyone acting like I’m blowing this way out of proportion? Even Brittany, who only makes a sympathetic clucking noise as she comes up on the deck, her arms outstretched. “Lux,” she says, as if I’m a child throwing a tantrum. “Would it be all that strange if he had just gone back to Maui?”
I gape at her. “Um, yes? He’s myboyfriend. He wouldn’t just leave me on a deserted island? Besides, you’re the one whopaid himto take you here and back.”
She drops her arms, tilting her head to one side. “Yeah, but—is Nico really the kind of guy you can count on?”
You didn’t think he’d sleep with Amma, but he did.
You didn’t think he’d give you a fucked-up lifeline during a storm, but he did.
You didn’t know him at all, did you?
And he didn’t know you.
