Page 23 of Euphoria
10
The last breathof winter turned into spring, and the grounds of Thornfield came alive with color.
All shades of green reappeared across the field and moor, the heather dotted the landscape with tiny purple flowers, and the roses, which clung to the whole west wing of the manor, erupted in bloom. It rained quite often, the sound pattering softly against the windowpanes, and when it cleared, the garden was brightened, and the sky saw shades of blue I’d forgotten existed.
The earth was renewed after its long slumber, but I felt as if my world had shrunk to include only a single lonely soul. My time was much in demand. The organization of the artist retreat was coming along and would go ahead in the autumn months. The office had undergone its technological renovations and had changed greatly.
I floated among the excitement, unable to enjoy my part in bringing it about. I had underestimated the way the master of the manor had twisted himself into my being, and his absence left a void I had not known was wanting in the first place.
I never found a replacement for my hideaway, so I passed long hours in the library, listening for footsteps which never came. Now the weather permitted it, I spent much of my free time in the grounds straining to hear the thunderous approach of the black stallion. None of these things happened, so I began to drown in the same feeling of stagnation that had driven me to be on the road the night Edward first appeared to me.
Spring faded into the first days of summer, and coats and sweaters were discarded for cooler sleeveless shirts and sunglasses. The sun showed its face more and more, and then something unexpected happened.
One morning, after rising early due to the brightness of the sun through my bedroom window, I came down to the gallery and found quite a commotion.
Kitchen staff were running through the dining room setting tables, housekeeping were unloading linens from a truck outside, Alice was darting to and fro, her eyes wild with panic, and I stared at the uncharacteristic view of the hotel wondering if something had been set on fire. This must be what it would look like when all the rooms were full at the same time, if they would ever be again.
“Alice,” I cried, catching her arm as she flew past. “What’s the matter?”
“I got a call late last night,” she replied, looking quite ready to tear her hair out. “There are to be fifteen guests arriving this afternoon! Fifteen! Damn that man and his whims!”
“Fifteen?” I exclaimed. “Do they all want separate rooms? That’s half the hotel!”
“Everyone’s in an uproar,” she went on, hardly hearing me. “We need linen on the beds, towels in the rooms, food in the kitchen!”
“Who is coming?” I began to tremble, hardly daring to hope.
“Rocky and his friends, of course!” Alice said, grasping my forearms. “Everything must be perfect!”
He was coming back? Not just Edward, but his rich friends would be following. Beautiful men and women of wealth. Women who were his complete match in every way. After four months of not hearing a word, here he came with his darkness and anger and with all the things I could never hope to be.
Still, I felt a spark at the thought of him being in the same house as I once more.
“Is there anything I can do to assist, Alice?” I asked, knowing I was about to get a healthy dose of reality when the guests began arriving. Best I distance myself from my attraction to the master and leave it be. There was no better time to begin my new course than now.
“Yes, oh yes!” she replied, her shoulders sagging. “I need someone to go to the village and pick up some things from the grocer. No one has time to leave, and we have so little time and not many hands.”
“Alice, it’s what I’m here for.” I smiled, feeling calm in my choice to distance myself from my unwanted feelings. “Of course, I’ll go.”
“Can you drive?” She reached into her pockets and thrust a set of keys at me.
I nodded, thankful for something with which to occupy myself. Once I’d been given my task completely, I emerged outside as a new Jane Doe, impervious to the lust of the flesh and mind. Still, I felt the looming cloud on the horizon and was unable to shake the trembling in my veins.
Edward Rochester was returning to Thornfield.
By the timeI returned from the village, the noise had dampened to a dull roar.
I’d volunteered to be the messenger so that I did not have to be present when Edward arrived, but it turned out I didn’t need to anguish myself so. Alice was sitting on the stairs in the gallery, her tablet in her lap, looking lost and forlorn.
“Their flight has been delayed,” she lamented as I sat beside her. “They won’t be here until tomorrow. All that fuss for nothing!”
“Never mind,” I commiserated. “There was no way of knowing. Everything is prepared well ahead of schedule now, so there is time to rest before everyone arrives.”
“You’re so right, Jane. Thank you. I don’t know where I’d be without you.”
“Still running around, I suppose,” I said with a smile.
Alice sighed, allowing her head to rest upon my shoulder, and my heart swelled. She had become quite like a sister to me in the few months I’d been in residence at Thornfield. It was very welcoming to think she thought nothing of my want for solitude and my quiet manner. She respected me for who I chose to be and in turn, I her.
