Page 25 of Euphoria
“I see,” I muttered, lowering my gaze.
“Are you well?” he asked, his footsteps thudding softly on the carpet as he approached.
“Yes, sir.”
“Are you sure? You look paler than when I saw you last.”
“I assure you, I am well.”
Edward grunted, my statement not placating him in the slightest.
“Could it be…” he mused. “Did you miss me, Jane? We hardly know one another, yet you seemed to fret.”
I closed my eyes for a moment, wishing he would not flirt with me so. He was baiting me for his own amusement, I was sure of it. Once I’d caught his lure, then what? Would he cast me right back with the others he’d rejected before me? I believed he would.
“You are afraid of me,” he stated, his tone changing from amusement to annoyance.
He’d said it once before, but he couldn’t be further from the truth. Perhaps I should be afraid of the man who stood before me. He exuded a great deal of power and control over me with little effort, and for someone who valued their freedom, I should be cowering before him. Yet all I did was rebel against it. It was a sick form of self-preservation.
I returned my gaze to his, my spirit now fully armored against him.
“I’m not afraid of you,” I said firmly.
“Then you are afraid of yourself.”
The truth hit home, and I scowled.
“Is the truth of what you want and feel so abhorrent to you?” he went on. “Or are you afraid you will be ridiculed by others for it?”
“Not at all, sir,” I said, jutting my chin out in defiance. “I merely know the difference between obtainment and futility.”
His strong brow creased as he thought over my words, his shoulders seeming to tense as he loomed over me.
“I suppose you think you’re clever in your evasion?” he inquired.
“Not at all. I feel I’m being realistic on my behalf.”
“You accused me of speaking in riddles, yet you speak like a sphinx. I think you are a hypocrite, Jane.”
His words stung, but it was for the best we should dislike one another. We were merely substituting one lesser hurt in lieu of a much larger one.
I stood tall as I delivered my next barb. “Then we are more alike than I dare admit.”
Edward took another step toward me, like the alpha male of a wild wolf pack closing in on its prey. Whatever happened next, it was going to hurt.
It wasn’t until he was an inch away from where I stood trapped against the wall that I realized he’d never touched me before. Never had his hand slipped and brushed against my own. Never had his gait wavered and moved toward mine. His eyes had done all the work in lieu of his hands, caressing, kneading, and unraveling.
He was so controlled in all his words and actions, and I realized I did fear him. I was afraid of what would be unleashed the moment his grasp on his spirit slipped and everything burst forth.
“You’re trembling,” he murmured, his gaze lowering to my lips.
“You were right,” I admitted. “I’m afraid.”
“Of me?”
“Of what you could do to me,” I whispered, my mouth feeling dry. “Of what you have already done without your knowing.”
As the words spilled from my lips, I regretted them. My knees felt weak, as though I might crumple to the floor in a heap, and my heart began to wither. I must leave before…
