Page 28 of Euphoria
She’d spun the party as a comedic affair, but I couldn’t think of anything worse. I didn’t want to see Edward after our liaison in the library the night before, and nor did I want to see him fawn over the stunning creature who was Blanche Ingram. If it was agreed upon that morning, then it was only an invitation to serve as a deterrent from pressing the matter of his hasty kiss, or it was for pure torture. He needn’t bother subjecting me to either. I was torn in two already.
“Do you have anything to wear?” Alice asked, pulling me back from my downward trajectory.
I shook my head. I’d never had cause to dress up, and I wouldn’t know how or what was appropriate anyway. Invitations to fine parties had never crossed my path, nor had shopping trips to high-end boutiques, either.
“Well, you can’t go in your usual jeans and blouse. Especially not in those big boots!” She looked me over and nodded when she was done. “I think I have just the thing for you. Come with me.”
She grasped my hand and tugged me from the office, through the main gallery that was still half-full of luggage, up the stairs, and into the east wing. She must’ve been certain I’d run in the other direction because she didn’t let me go until we were in her room.
Her lodgings were similar to mine though she’d managed to squeeze a larger wardrobe into the corner, and when she threw open the door, I understood why she needed the space. Clothing was squashed inside, and underneath, there was a line of high heels, shoes, and boots. The entire contents were practically bursting out, and I wondered how she ever got the door closed! The whole scene was comical as she dived into the pile of fabric and began rummaging. I had visions of a door opening up to Narnia in the back or at least to another realm where closet space was infinite.
“How can you find anything in there?” I asked, sitting on the corner of her bed.
“I have a system,” she threw back over her shoulder. “It’s infallible!”
I laughed to myself, feeling a sight lighter than I had moments before.
“I know it’s in here somewhere,” Alice went on, her voice muffled from inside the closet. “Ah! Here it is!”
Pulling on a clothes hanger, she emerged with a black dress that had a dark navy blue design weaved through the fabric. Setting it on the bed next to me, I ran my fingertips over it while she dove back into the closet.
It was beautiful in its simplicity. The hem was short, the skirt flared just a little, the sleeves were capped just over the shoulders, and the neckline dipped low. If I’d been in a shop, I would’ve picked it up and placed it right back, not having anywhere to go to be able to wear something so fine. Could I wear something like this? What would…
Finally, Alice set a pair of black ankle boots next to me, breaking my thoughts before they wandered into dangerous territory. It wouldn’t matter how I looked to Mr. Rochester’s eyes.
The boots looked Western inspired with elastic sides and a wraparound buckle. Fortunately, there was a zipper at the side, or it’d take an age to get into them. The heel was small, perhaps two inches, and wide, so I would be able to walk in them without looking awkward. They suited the dress beautifully.
“There,” Alice declared, looking rather pleased with herself. “It’s in the usual colors you like to wear, black with blue embellishments, and the shoes are like your big combat boots while still looking feminine.”
I ran my fingers over the material of the dress once more and had to agree with her. It wasn’t Gucci, but it was a sight nicer than my usual attire.
Alice waved her hands at me. “Well, what are you waiting for? Try it on!”
“Now?”
“Stop stalling, Jane. It’s just a dress.” She picked it up and thrust it into my hands, pushing me ungracefully toward the bathroom. “Go in there, and hurry up about it. We’re still on call.”
Slinking into the bathroom, I changed into the outfit, my elbows hitting the walls as I struggled with ridding myself of my skinny jeans. When I emerged transformed, Alice clapped her hands together in glee.
“You look beautiful, Jane!” she gushed.
“I feel rather naked,” I replied, smoothing down the skirt.
She shooed me away. “That’s just because you’re not used to wearing dresses. It’s the bare legs.”
I shrugged as a feeling of despair rose within my heart. Why get dressed up to have the last of my soul destroyed?
Alice’s expression fell, and she asked, “What’s the matter? You’re upset!”
“I’m entirely out of my comfort zone,” I replied. It was the truth, though it came with a very large omission.
Alice being Alice attempted to cheer me up with kind words. “You’ll have a good time tonight. I know it.”
I hoped she was right because I felt like a fish out of water.
That night, I stood outside the sitting room, my palms feeling sweaty.
I was early, and I could still hear Mr. Rochester and his guests being served dessert in the dining room. Perhaps I could go in and find a quiet corner, and no one would notice me. They certainly hadn’t paid me any mind that morning, and it would be a fortunate thing to continue to pass my presence in obscurity.
