I slapped my hand over my mouth, my cheeks beginning to heat.
“Don’t worry yourself, Jane,” he said, his eyes sparkling. “I know Alice calls me that behind my back. I don’t care for it, but you…” He glanced at my lips, his brow furrowing and a little of his darkness returning. “You are free to call me what you wish when I am to kiss you.”
“Is that so, master?” I asked, my mask slipping just for him.
Wrapping his arms around me, his mouth was against mine, his tongue forcing its way inside. Just as his touch became too much to bear in such a tiny space, he tore his lips away and pressed his cheek against mine.
“Mon chèr maître,” he whispered into my ear.
“Jane!” We stilled as the sound of Alice’s voice echoed down the hall. “Jane, are you up here?”
Edward placed his palm over my mouth and shook his head.
“Be quiet, Jane,” he whispered into my ear as he pulled me onto his lap, and there we sat, hidden in the window seat, caught in each other’s embrace as Alice Fairfax searched the entire third floor for me.
I could feel his hardening crotch against my rear as we sat in silence, my body trembling at the thought of being discovered. His lips brushed against my neck, the tip of his tongue teasing my skin.
I gasped as his touch firmed, and when his index finger found my lips in an attempt to silence me, I sucked it into my mouth and laved my tongue along his length. This time, it was his turn to moan, his chest rumbling against my arm.
“Tonight,” he muttered into my ear as he removed his finger from where I’d captured it, much to my disappointment. “When all is quiet, come to the library. I’ll be waiting for you.”
I wriggled in his lap, aching at the thought of another liaison after dark, and his expression twisted in agony. He was hard and wanting, but there was nothing we could do about it now, not when Alice was probably tearing apart Thornfield searching for me.
Fisting his hand into the hair at the nape of my neck, he forced my mouth to his. His lips were hard against mine with a promise of more to come. My fingers danced a trail across his jaw, memorizing the line of it, and delighted in the harsh stubble.
It was a strange sensation touching him like this after feeling as if my affections were unrequited. His mask was fixed in place. So well, he’d hidden his true intentions without tipping off anyone.
“Tonight?” he asked again, his eyes full of hope and desire.
I nodded, unable to do anything else. He’d stolen my breath.
Slipping off his lap, I peered through the curtains. Finding the hallway empty, I emerged from our hiding place, but instead of continuing my earlier path, I diverted to go find Alice. With every step, I felt the distance open between Edward and I. My body tingled with a coldness I’d never felt before as if separating from him had severed all ability to function. Still, I could feel a tugging at the corners of my heart, urging me toward his gravitational field, and wherever he was in Thornfield, I was sure I would find him if I followed the thread.
As I searched for the illusive Alice, I heard the sounds of the luncheon outside and began to falter. When Edward and I were alone, the world didn’t matter. It fell away until we were the only two people who inhabited its surface, then… Then there were judgments, expectations, money, and power—all things I couldn’t live up to, let alone comprehend.
Descending the stairs, I couldn’t help letting in the twinge of doubt that prickled at the back of my mind.
The doubt that said I’d just become Edward Rochester’s secret mistress.
Dear reader, I had to go to Edward. I was powerless against his word and the spell his touch had woven over my mind and body, and the promise of more had me wishing away the minutes until I could steal myself into his embrace.
The day was spent in agony, and my nerves were on edge as I wiled away the hours at dinner. Alice shot me curious glances whenever I fidgeted, but she never asked what the matter was. The staff was too embroiled in recounting the scandalous gossip from the luncheon. Mr. Rochester had disappeared and had not returned until later that afternoon.
I knew where he’d been, of course, but that was a secret too hallowed to repeat, even to myself in the privacy of my own room.
I smiled to myself as they threw about theories and evidence. His driver hadn’t taken him anywhere. He hadn’t gone out to the moors to shoot. He hadn’t been in his rooms. He hadn’t been in a business meeting. It was if he’d hidden away someplace so he could spy on the unsuspecting staff. What a scandal!
Bessie had said Queen Bee had her nose all out of joint because her handsome and powerful boyfriend was nowhere to be seen and had caused quite the scene. At this revelation, I’d almost choked on my roast beef.Boyfriend.
They all expected Blanche and Edward to marry within the year. They were a terrible match, and I couldn’t see him being happy with her at all, but their union was to be expected. Not just from the staff of Thornfield but both their families and society at large. Blanche Ingram would be Blanche Rochester before long, and where did that leave me?
As darkness descended on Thornfield and the halls quieted as its staff and guests went to bed, I developed an ulcer on my heart.
I crept through the halls, silent as a whisper as I forged a path toward the study. I felt the pull of the invisible string tethering me to the master of Thornfield drawing me ever closer, and dread mingled with the longing his touch earlier that day had ignited.
I lingered outside the door, taking a moment to gather myself, but when I entered, it all came crashing down.
Edward was alone and waiting, just as he’d promised, but my resolve had turned and fled the moment it needed to be called upon. It was my turn to feel gloomy and morose as I entered the room, closing the door behind me. His being had cleared of all darkness, but his cloud had moved on to me, blocking out the radiance I should be feeling in his presence.