Page 51 of Zenith
“So your family is just as insane as the shrew locked up in the eaves of the house!”
“Hush!” I shouted back. “Her heart is in the right place. Don’t you dare speak ill of her after the sacrifice she has made. Her reputation will suffer for this, and she knew it. She has proved her conviction and love for me. I dearly wish she had not leaked the recording, but what’s done is done. Perhaps some good can come of this.”
“What good, Jane? I cannot see anything good in this, only more fuel for the vultures to feed upon!”
I stared at him, my gaze fixing upon his dark eyes so he would understand I did not want to be trifled with. “If we are to sink, then Blanche will come with us. After all you confessed to me, now you wish to back down from your manipulation?”
His jaw tensed. “What are we to do, Jane? I stand to lose everything and you…” He shook his head, and pulling the stopper from the decanter, he poured himself a dram of whiskey. “I fear she has scarred your spirit as well as your body. If I had been honest from the beginning…”
“Edward, be still,” I pleaded. “Regrets serve no one.”
“Should I regret loving you, Jane?” he asked before lifting the glass to his lips. He drank, long and slow, savoring the taste of alcohol upon his tongue.
“Never say those words to me again,” I said, snatching the empty glass from his fingers. “Never regret what we share, for it is between you and I and no other. If you do not wish to love me, then say so, and I shall leave you forever. I have fought for you, Edward! I have forsaken my morals and judgments to help you! It is you I love above all else, even myself.”
“And that is the problem, dear Jane,” was his reply. “You should never have to forsake who you are to be by my side.”
“And neither should you.” I placed my hand on his shoulder and began to soothe. “Rest your mind, my love. What’s done is done. Rest and be still…and please, go easy on the whiskey.”
He grunted and placed the stopper back into the decanter. “You are right, Jane. It is a trying time, indeed. It will take some getting used to, being a retiree.”
“You and me both.”
I left him to sit quietly and sought my own place of solitude so I could ponder this new turn of events. Closing the door behind me, I wandered down the hall, traversing Thornfield as I had long ago when I’d first arrived.
The paintings, the windows, the rugs, and the sculptures all looked different to my eyes. Surely, they were familiar, but the farther I walked, the more alien the landscape became. Edward was right in so many ways it caused me great irritation.
We would do best to leave this place and never return.
Alice found me in the downstairs sitting room, staring through the windows at the BBCTV news van parked outside. Fortunately, the tall panes of glass were covered with a thick sheen of cream-colored lace, which was nigh on impossible to see through, so I was able to watch them unseen.
“I told them to leave before the police arrived,” Alice said, standing beside me. “They’re packing up, see?”
I nodded.
“Are you feeling well?” she asked, frowning at me. “Would you like to sit a while?”
“I feel no justice in it,” I murmured, shaking my head. “Truthfully, I’m not sure what I am supposed to feel.”
“Relieved,” Alice replied, understanding I was referring to the Blanche flavored fuel Georgiana added to the fire. “She got what she deserved, Jane. She tried to murder you, for goodness sake! The police will become involved now, so there will be a formal investigation. She will be charged and disgraced.”
“What good will that do?” I exclaimed. “Edward will not escape unscathed. I may find some sort of perverse justice, but he will lose everything. He has already lost control of his company, which was his entire life. He cannot lose any more.”
“Jane…” She glanced away nervously. “He’s already—”
“Don’t,” I interrupted. “Don’t say it, Alice. Please.”
I turned back to the window, her unsaid words echoing in my thoughts.He’s already lost everything. But it wasn’t true. He still had me, and the staff who remained were loyal. He had us, but even I knew it was all hanging by a thread.
I had no control, and I was spiraling. What could I do? There had to be something I could grasp to anchor myself.
While I watched the television crew pack up and leave, I pondered the choices that had presented themselves to me.
I could not press charges against Blanche if I wanted Edward to remain unscathed by her treachery. The authorities would likely come to investigate the legitimacy of Bertha’s care, but they would not find anything worth prosecuting over. Of that, I was certain. He’d taken the utmost care to ensure everything was legal since the hotel had closed. There was no proof she’d ever been here longer than that, and he was certain the staff, past and present, would not talk. He’d been a good employer to them, and it would pay off in spades.
I raised my hand absently and began to rub at the twin scars on my chest. What was I to do? I could rely on my morals and follow through with the legal proceedings against my attacker, which was morally right, but I would bring further shame upon Edward. Or I could just…let it go.
I glanced out the windows, studying the clouds beyond, forlorn that I could not go outside into the garden to ponder the next step my life would take. The story had only spread further in the media, gaining more fantastical twists and turns as the days progressed and had attracted more photographers and television crews.
“I cannot press charges,” I said, knowing I did not need the sun or the presence of the moor to make my decision. “I must be content with Blanche’s shattered reputation. The Ingram’s will languish and come to despise their daughter for bringing ill repute upon their family name. It is not a prison sentence, but it is still a life she will be loathed to live.”
“Are you sure?” Alice asked. “No one would blame you for pursuing more.”
I nodded, my heart feeling heavy with the weight of losing my own justice, but that was what one did for those they loved, wasn’t it? They sacrificed themselves to protect at all costs.
After all Edward and I had been through, I knew without a doubt that it was he I loved, and no other would come close. He was the man I’d been searching for my entire life—my name, my heart, my family—and I would sacrifice everything for him.
“I must,” I whispered. “Justice would be empty without Edward by my side.”
