Page 120 of Pulse
Chapter 37
Ash
It had been a goodbye.
I couldn’t go into the fight tonight without hearing it one more time as I sunk into her. I couldn’t explain all the things I felt for her with words. Words were my weakness, my strengths lay in the physical and that was the only way I could tell her.
Ren was it. She was the one. Always. There’d never be anyone else.
The first time I had her was from behind. I could watch as our bodies joined, as my cock slid into her pinkness, I could watch as I came in her. I could revel in my need for dominance over the wild spirit that lived inside her, the spirit that wanted to submit because she loved me.
Fuck, I loved her.
I didn’t need the rigmarole or a posse of people watching me. I told Violet to stay home even though it was a given. She was still a slave to her fear and would be forever until this ordeal was over. I made Ren promise to call her the moment the fight was over. I didn’t know what state I’d be in, if it was going to be the living or dying kind.
The only person I wanted there was Ren. How I could put her through that, watching the fight that would either kill me or brand me a murderer, was beyond the pale. I told myself I needed her, that she was the only person I wanted to share this insane journey with.
Love could get pretty fucked up if you asked me.
Ren sat with me and bound my hands, she helped me stretch out, digging her strong little hands into my muscles, kneading out any knots she found. Hammer sat on one side of the change rooms while we prepared, two security guards manning the space between us.
I could see the tension in Ren’s body as Hammer stared at her, so I kept him at her back, moving as she did. Every so often she’d smile up at me and it was all I needed from her to know that she understood and was thankful.
Max wandered in and eyed us both, nodding once at me. “Time boys. In the cage and make it count.”
Ren grimaced and I reached for her hand, the silence between us stretching into infinity. The calm before the storm.
We walked through the crowd in Hammer’s wake, letting him milk his moment, and when we reached the point of no return, Ren tugged on my hand. She stood up on her tip-toes and kissed me hard. I tasted her against my tongue and realized she was crying.
I pulled away and caressed her cheek with a bound hand. “It’s going to be okay.”
“Don’t do anything stupid,” she murmured.
“Of course not.” I smiled, but I knew she didn’t believe me.
I could’ve stayed there all night staring into her eyes, but the time had come. I kissed her one last time as I heard my name being called. I kissed her with everything I could gather from inside me.
“I love you Ren,” I murmured, brushing a tear from her flushed cheek.
“I love you,” she said firmly.
I let my hand fall away and stepped backwards.
“See you on the other side,” she said with a smile, but her eyes didn’t light up with their usual sparkle.
I nodded and pressed my fist against my heart, then I was inside the cage and the door closed with a slam that seemed all too final. Ren curled her fingers through the chain-link and I had to tear my gaze away or risk losing it myself.
Fuck, she knew what I was going to do. She had to know, right? If she didn’t, then she was about to realize which made it worse. It was too late to stop it now.
“Fuck, you’ve become soft Fuller,” Hammer drawled and I was jarred into the present.
My mind cleared from its haze and I narrowed my eyes. I toed the line, squaring up against Hammer and closed my heart off from my mind. Game fucking on.
