Page 15 of Pulse
Chapter 5
Ren
Eat. Sleep. Train. Repeat.
I’d given up The Underground and without an outlet to distract myself with, I started training again at night. The feeling of hopelessness I’d been carrying around didn’t seem to go away, no matter what I did. I was strong, I was winning most of my fights and I was about to qualify for the big time, but I had nothing else. Josie had fallen into the lifestyle, the Twins lived and breathed it and I hadn’t seen Seth since the last qualifier. If I didn’t have fighting, I had nothing to look forward to.
I was beginning to sound like a broken record.
Beat was in darkness apart the back row of lights on and all was quiet. I was suddenly flung back an entire year to the moment I decided to start training for myself. When had all of that changed? I hardly recognized myself now compared to that lonely girl who wanted to show the world she couldn’t be beaten. Nothing could’ve knocked me down then, but now it wouldn’t take much at all. I was hanging on by the skin of my teeth.
I heard the outside door open and my heart sped up, my entire body tingling. It had overtures of a time that seemed eons ago now and when I turned, I almost expected to see Ash, but to my surprise and disappointment, it was Dean.
“So this is what you did all those nights here by yourself,” he said, punching in the alarm code. “Now it makes sense.”
I cocked my head to the side. “Sense?”
“You’rehardcore,” he replied with a cheeky grin. “A total junkie.”
“I don’t know whether to take that as a compliment or not.”
Dean crossed the mat and stood in front of me. “Compliment, definitely a compliment.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I left my phone upstairs.”
He didn’t move and for a moment, I wondered if he had an ulterior motive.
“I’m fuckin’ glad you gave that place up,” he said.
I snorted. “I’m easy to convince these days.”
“If I can do something Ren, tell me.”
“I don’t think there’s anything you can do.” I sighed, sitting heavily on the bench.
Dean sat beside me and I was glad for his company. Beat at night…well it had a lot of memories that were still fresh.
“Are you okay?” I asked, breaking the awkward silence.
“I should be asking you that.”
“You’ve asked me enough,” I said with a grimace. “It’s time to move on.”
“I don’t think it’s time to move on until your answer is yes.”
I glanced up at him and wondered why his head was screwed on right and Ash’s was screwed on crooked. Dean was a great guy. Great didn’t cut it, but I wasn’t sure of a word that was good enough to describe him. Why he was ever in love with Monica Miller was beyond me.
“Why Monica?” I asked.
He shrugged, not surprised that I’d even asked. “We had this thing once when we were eighteen.”
