Page 24 of Pulse
Chapter 9
Ren
I thought long and hard about what Josie said.
I had been living in denial all this time. I hated Ash for leaving me, but he had his reasons and it was time to hear them from the man himself. Confrontation never sat well with me. Not the physical kind, I was good at that part, it was the emotional kind I had trouble with. Forgiveness was something I hadn’t come to terms with yet.
Somewhere along the line, I’d forgiven my dad, but if I sat there and thought about the exact moment where things had changed¸ I wouldn’t be able to pinpoint it. Is that what Ash and I needed? Time? That was all well and good, but I had to confront him first and who knew how that would go down. Who would come apart first? Me, most likely.
Last night I’d looked up the address on the piece of paper Violet had given me on the office computer. Like a cliché for the rich with dirty money won from underground fighting, it was a house in Toorak. It was the rich part of town, full of inner city mansions with high fences and double stories and yards that were referred to as ‘grounds’. It was yet another thing I didn’t know about Ash Fuller and another hole in my heart.
I’d caught a train and a tram through the city, the whole time wondering if I was really doing the right thing. It might be the right thing by Ash, but was it right for me?
I got off at the closest stop and walked through the streets of million dollar plus homes, my stomach churning. Did he know I was coming? Had Violet told him about her visit to Beat? Did he even want me there?
When I finally stood outside the house, I couldn’t help my mouth from gaping even though I’d had an idea of what I was in for. It looked like a fucking mansion with its two stories, wide driveway and manicured garden. There was a security gate with a button and I came to a stop beside it, suddenly freezing. After everything Ash and I had been through I was afraid now?
It’s just a button, press it.
Deep down I knew if I stayed away there would be this tiny spark of hope that one day we’d find our way back to one another. But if I confronted him now…then that spark might sputter and die. Ash told me once that he wasn’t afraid of anything. Was he afraid of this? Because I sure as fuck was.
Sucking it up, I slammed my finger on the button.
“Hello?” came a female voice through the intercom.
“Violet?” I asked, my voice sounding small and far away. “It’s Ren…”
“Hang on,” she immediately came back with and then the gate buzzed as she unlocked it from inside the house.
I shoved the gate open and let it slam closed behind me. The garden was lush and well looked after. A huge green lawn spread around the house and flowerbeds with little box hedges and cottage flowers adorned the house itself and the edges of the driveway and path that lead up to the front door.
My gaze latched onto Violet, who’d come to greet me. She was standing half in and half out of the house, wearing a little floral dress and cardigan with bare feet. Sometimes people took a little sunshine way out of proportion.
“Ren,” she called out, gesturing me up the path.
Sucking in a deep breath, I made my way up to the house to meet her and get this over and done with. She stepped aside to let me in and as soon as the door closed behind me, I felt the walls closing in. I could still turn around and get out of here; I could still take it back… Curling my fingers into hard fists, I squashed down my fear.
I glanced around the posh foyer, feeling totally out of place. It was half the size of the house Mum and I had rented and at least ten times that of my room back at Beat.
“I wasn’t sure if you were coming,” Violet said with an apologetic smile.
“Neither was I.”
She shuffled nervously and asked, “Do you want a drink?”
“No, thank you.”
“He’s upstairs,” she said after a moment.
“Does he know you came to see me?”
Violet shook her head, looking sheepish. “He was pretty angry with me when I got back. I didn’t think it was a good idea. I don’t leave the house often you see. Not after everything that happened…it frightens me a little.”
