Page 25 of Pulse
“Oh…” I was sure I was meant to comfort her or say something nice, but I wasn’t sure what to do.
“You can go see him if you want.”
I glanced over her shoulder at the stairs and desperately tried to think of something to say that would stall. “How is he? You said he was struggling…”
“The doctor put him on medication,” she said, eyeing me. Probably watching for my reaction.
“Medication for what?”
“His anger, depression…he was going out of his mind being stuck in here. Things just…snowballed.” She sounded regretful, like she hadn’t agreed with the doctor’s opinion.
“And has it helped?”
She shrugged. “Yes and no. He’s pretty out of it most of the time. If he’s not asleep, he’s in the gym. The medication makes him confused.”
“Confused? So, it’s not working?”
“I don’t want him on it,” she replied. “But being here without an outlet…he couldn’t cope. They’re going to re-evaluate when his sentence is over.”
“And when’s that?”
“About five months. They gave him a year.”
A year. It didn’t sound that long in the grand scheme of things, but five minutes was too long for a man like Ash. How the hell had he coped with four years in prison?
“Please,” Violet said. “Go see him. I know he wants to see you…”
“Has he said that? Because if he wanted to he would’ve called...”
“Not in so many words, but-”
“Then how do you know?”
“He’s my brother, Ren. We’re close. Always have been. I know when he’s trying to be a stupid pigheaded asshole.”
I snorted. They were close? So close he hadn’t bothered telling me about her…
“Upstairs,” she said. “Third on the right.”
Grunting, I spun on my heel and ventured out into the hallway, more to get away from Violet’s pleading than anything else. I forced myself to climb the stairs, one step at a time, my fingers tightening on the bannister. He was in this house, meters away from me. I wanted to go to him, but I wanted to run away, all at the same time.
Slinking down the hall, my stomach churned. The third door on the right was closed. I had no idea what I wanted to say.
I cracked the door open, turning the handle as quietly as I could. I just wanted to see first…I just wanted to see him before he saw me. The door glided inwards and I peered through the opening into the bedroom. His bedroom.
I didn’t see anything at first; it was like the room was empty. If it wasn’t for the covers all messed up on the bed, I would’ve thought he wasn’t there at all. It smelt like Ash…all musky and male and memories that I’d been trying to forget slammed into my brain like a sledgehammer. My head swam with thoughts of him and my fingertips began to tingle with the memory of his skin against mine. Fuck.
A large set of windows took up most of the opposite wall, letting in the sunshine and brightening the room to almost unbearable levels. The curtains fluttered inward as the breeze ruffled through them and that’s when I saw him.
He sat in a chair; his bulky form slouched into the plush leather. He was looking the other way, out the window to the freedom he was denied and hadn’t noticed me at the door. I could see him plain as day and Violet was right. He looked defeated…empty.
He was like a wild animal that had been locked up and was pining for his home. He was like a lion that should be stalking the plains of Africa with his lioness, but instead of endless skies all he had was a cage. He was wasting away in captivity.
My heart twisted painfully in my chest and I couldn’t take it anymore. I turned and padded down the hall, trying to sneak away before he realized I was there, like the coward I was. I didn’t want to see him like that. I was afraid to see him like that.
Fucking coward.
I treaded lightly down the stairs, keeping an ear out for Violet. The last thing I wanted was for her to see me running away from her brother after the courage it must’ve taken her to come and face me. That would look bloody fantastic.
