Page 3 of Pulse
I’d never told anyone the truth about that night; you know the one where I turned up on Josie’s doorstep in a hysterical mess. I hadn’t told and she hadn’t asked. She’d been a true friend all this time and had never asked questions. She knew I’d tell her when I was ready, but I wasn’t sure I would ever be truly okay with it. If the truth came out, I’d be implicated in a possible crime and so would she. I couldn’t let that happen, so I zipped my lips closed and threw away the key.
“I quit my soul sucking corporate job today,” she declared.
“What?” I asked, glad for a change of pace.
“Your dad asked me to come on full time to do PR for the Twins and Beat.”
“Shit, so you’re not just mine anymore?” I asked with a small smile.
Josie had come on as my PR manager a month ago and since then I’d been busy with photo shoots and interviews for a whole slew of magazines and websites. They said I was the next big thing to hit the pro MMA circuit and I wasn’t sure how to handle that. I just had an affinity with fighting; it wasn’t like I was some kind of prodigy or anything. Training and keeping busy kept my mind off of things. The more I thought about other stuff, the sooner I’d forget my heartache. That was the idea, anyway.
“I’m spreading the love Ren,” she declared. “Besides, I get to hang around hot male fighters all day. I couldn’t get out of that shithole of an office any faster.” She gave me a suggestive wink.
I managed to crack a smile and she threw her arms around me. It sure was going to be a lot easier to cope with Josie around.
“It’s going to be great,” she said. “Just you wait.”
“I hope so,” I murmured.
I really did because I wasn’t sure what else I had to look forward to.
I might’ve been a handful of points away from qualifying for the pro league, but one thing I hadn’t given up was The Underground.
I was afraid to go back for weeks after all that shit went down with Ash and Hammer. Not until the Championship was over and a new one had begun. I’d walked into the converted warehouse to a cool greeting. Not because they hated me, they were frosty because they were afraid of me.
Fighters I’d once spoken to with easy banter avoided me; people who’d spoken to me so they could get closer to Ash gave me the cold shoulder. Even the bookies looked at me differently. That was until I started winning and I fucking won a lot.
I didn’t need the money, what with me fighting alongside the Twins; Beat was more than fine financially. Even without Ash’s money, the studio was fine. My bank balance started inflating and earning interest and if I wanted to, I could invest or buy my own place…but I didn’t want any of it.
I guess Ash and I had something in common. We didn’t care about the money. Fighting was more than fame and glory. It was a way to sate the beast within. I never understood his, but mine? Ash awoke my beast and left me with the carnage of dealing with it and as fucked up as it sounded; I needed The Underground to cope.
I wasn’t alone in not knowing what the fuck was going on where Ash and Hammer had gotten to. When it came time to fight the Championship bout, neither man had shown, so it was up to Hamish, aka The Goblin and a mean son of a bitch named The Crowbar.
Hamish had won and was now the new golden boy of The Underground.
Now that the new season had started, I went three nights a week and fought as many bouts as they would put me down for. If there was an over, I was the first to volunteer.
Call it bloodlust, call it punishment, but the only time I felt alive was when I was in that cage, pounding my fists into my opponent.
Isolation and The Underground went hand in hand and I was a partner to them both.
I fought so I could feel something other than heartache.
I fought so I didn’t feel alone.
What a crock of fucking shit.
