Page 35 of Pulse
“I didn’t do it,” he murmured, his eyes glassy and vacant.
“I know,” I replied, my heart jackhammering in my chest.
Fingertips brushed against my thigh and I jerked back in surprise. Ash hesitated, his brow furrowing in thought. If he didn’t know this was real, then could I...
Shifting forward, I ran a hand over his waist, feeling the hard ripple of muscle underneath my skin. He’d been training, that much was certain, but it wasn’t enough. For a man like Ash, it would never be enough to sate the need inside him. He needed the fight.
He stared at me as I caressed his side, trying to figure me out. Abruptly, he shifted forward, pressing his body against mine. Before I could put a palm on his chest, he rolled over, pushing me onto my back. With a groan, he settled his weight over my body and pressed his lips against mine.
Despite all the shit and chaos and rage I felt toward him, my body exploded at his touch, coming alive as his tongue swept into my mouth. If this was his dream, his drug induced fantasy, then it was my waking nightmare.
Greedy, self indulgent... This whole thing was so wrong, but I couldn’t stop myself.
His entire body was pressed against mine, I felt his hard cock as he rubbed along my thigh and I lost control. Not that I had it in the first place, but any shred that was inside me just vanished.
I wanted to be with him like before. I wanted to have this moment for myself and hope that he didn’t remember. I wanted it.
He kissed me like he was starving, like he’d been waiting for this day for his entire life. I clung to him, trying to forget the last six months, but the heartache was too strong. I tore my lips away with a gasp and that’s when his eyes opened and fixed onto mine. They were no longer glassy, but clear and green like the first day I met him.
“Ren?” he asked, his eyes wide with fear.
Fear. Ash afraid? My heart sputtered and almost died. Seriously, what reaction was I hoping for getting into bed with him while he was out of it? I was such a fucking idiot. He hissed sharply and rolled off me, sitting on the edge of the bed.
“What are you doing here?” he snapped like I was an annoyance he didn’t want or need.
I flinched at his tone and sat up; wondering if this was some kind of sick joke. I didn’t know what I was going to say, but my throat closed over, rendering me speechless. I could still feel his lips against mine, the weight of his body… I should be ripping him a new one for what he did, but instead I sat there and let him take his anger out on me.
“Get out,” he went on, his vitriol burning.
“No.”
He rose to his feet, but I didn’t have it in me to let my gaze drop.
“I don’t want you here.”
“Violet invited me,” I snapped back at him.
Ash fisted his hands into his hair and let out a roar, making me flinch backwards. “Fucking Violet!”
He stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door closed behind him and shutting me out. I stared in shock for a moment before getting out of bed. Fucked if I was letting him chuck a temper tantrum, not after all the bullshit he put me through.
I pounded my fists on the door. “You don’t have the right to shut me out,” I screeched at him. “You owe me!”
“I owe you nothing,” came his muffled voice.
His words continued to slice through my shattered heart, pounding it into a fine dust. How much more could I take before I broke down completely?
“Don’t worry Ash,” I spat. “I’ve heard it all. I know everything. If you had a shred of decency inside you, you’d have been the one who explained it to me, not your sister. Your fucking sister, Ash. Were you ever going to tell me about her? Was everything you ever said to me a fucking lie?”
Silence.
“I never lied once,” I said, thumping my fist against the door. “I gave you the truth. Always.”
I felt tears prickling in my eyes and a lump forming in my throat. The things I was considering giving up for this man and he couldn’t even face me. I thought I was the coward, but yet again I was so fucking wrong it hurt.
I slammed my fist against the door once more and said, “Fuck you.”
Turning on my heel, I strode across the room and picked up my boots and for the second time in as many days, fled the asshole’s fancy-pants house, but this time I didn’t look back, because if I did? I’d just turn around and run right back.
