Page 44 of Pulse
“You thought I’d be burdened?” I asked. “Shit, if anything, I burdened you. You’ve got just as much shit to deal with as I do.”
“Like you had a choice Ren. Your history with your dad is common knowledge. What was I supposed to say? Your dad abandoned you when you were most vulnerable…hey, mine too.”
I wanted to lean forward and slap my hand over his mouth to stop him from saying all the stupid things that were breaking my heart over and over. For such a powerful man, he sure didn’t have a lot of confidence in other people. He respected my dad as his coach; he loved his sister and me? I wasn’t quite sure, but I wondered if all I ever caused him was turmoil. Ashitstormof wild emotions he couldn’t tame, right along with his anger.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I always tried to understand you, but I didn’t get it.”
“Don’t be sorry. I was the one who kept it from you.”
Turning so I could face him, I reached out and traced the edge of his T-shirt. I let my fingers press against the parts of his tattoo that were visible and he flinched slightly as our skin connected.
Letting my hand drop, I asked, “What does it mean?”
Ash reached behind and fisted his hand into the material of his shirt and pulled it up over his head. My gaze dropped to his chest, taking in the tattoo that covered his entire front. It moved with every muscle and every curve of his impressive body and I couldn’t help reaching out again. I let my fingers trace each star across his collarbone before dropping to do the same with the words I’d wondered about since the first time I saw him.
Ash watched me as I touched him, letting me explore. His entire body seemed to be coiled, restrained from pouncing, flinching or pulling away…who knew which. Dropping my hand back into my lap, I glanced up at his twisted expression, silently begging him to tell me.
“Rage,” he said, pointing to the first word that was etched across his rightpec. “You know what that one’s about.”
“Do I ever,” I said absently. That was something I’d witnessed over and over.
“Heart.” He pointed to the word over his sternum, right in the middle of his chest. He shrugged, giving away that he was having a hard time vocalizing his thoughts again.
He pointed to the last one. “Rebirth.” He grimaced. “I’m still working on that one.”
I stared at him, my heart swelling with pride. It was hard for him but he was trying a little bit at a time and I sighed. Not with frustration, with content.
“What?” he asked, frowning at my reaction.
“Progress,” I breathed.
“Progress,” he echoed.
Finally we were getting somewhere, reaching common ground.
Ash reached behind him and held up the magazine. “Wanna show me your new moves?”
Smiling up at him, I nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, that would be great.”
