Page 45 of Pulse
Chapter 15
Ash
That first day, we fooled around in the downstairs gym and I couldn’t believe how farRen’dcome in six months.
She was always a fast teach, but she’d changed into something else entirely. A force of fucking nature.
There were two places we’d always connected. Those midnight training sessions at Beat and when we were naked and fucking. The second wasn’t an option…yet…but the first we could do something about.
She came back every day for an entire week after that and we trained together like old times. I helped her prepare a regime that would see her through the beginning of the AUFC season and tried not to think about when she’d fly to Sydney. She hadn’t mentioned it and I hadn’t asked.
We got to know stupid little details about one another in endless games of twenty questions. She liked plain food, no spice. She liked the color red. She liked carnations because they reminded her of her mum. She didn’t like coffee and preferred hot chocolate. She didn’t like wearing makeup, but she didn’t need it. She liked rock music and hated the crap they played on commercial radio.
She asked me what I liked the most about training and the only answer I could think of was her. So I told her as much and she heaved a medicine ball right into my guts. Apparently that was cheating, but it was the truth, no matter how soppy that shit was.
Whenever Ren came back, I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I was convinced if I glanced away for one second she’d disappear and I’d wake up and realize it was all a dream.
We fought, but she came back.
Why couldn’t I just fucking tell her how I felt? For a lot of reasons, the worst one would be scaring her away for good. What if she wasn’t ready to hear it? Shit, I wasn’t sure I was ready for it. Everything had happened so fast between us, whiplash had nothing on it.
We were in the gym taking a breather after a three hour session rotating through the weights when I caught that look in her eye. The one that said she was stewing over something she wanted to ask. We hadn’t tackled any of the big questions yet and with Ren it was only a matter of time before her curiosity won through.
“You’ve got that look on your face,” I said before taking a mouthful of water from my drink bottle.
Her pretty doe eyes widened. “What look?”
“What do you want to ask me?”
“I haven’t seen you take your medication,” she said uncertainly.
“I stopped.”
“Why?”
“I don’t like the person I am on them.” I shrugged. “I don’t need them. I don’t want them.”
“What did the doctor say?”
Annoyance began to stir in my guts. “Fuck the doctor.”
“Ash.”
“The medicine wasn’t helping Ren,” I argued. “It just made me into a fucking zombie. I’ve made more progress in the last week than I have in my entire life. It’s you-” I hesitated. “You…” I grunted in frustration. “I have a hard time with this.” I waved my hands around.
“Talking?” she asked, stepping towards me.
I sighed. “Yeah. But it’s easier with you.”
“We’ve been doing okay this past week right?”
“Yeah.” I resisted the urge to touch her, knowing if I did, I wouldn’t be able to control what happened next.
