Page 47 of Pulse
What I wanted was to go back to the day she pressed me about The Underground and put a stop to it once and for all. I should never have taken her there. That was the day that it all went wrong. If it’d never happened, then she’d be preparing for the AUFC in Sydney right now with me by her side as her partner and her biggest fucking supporter…not in my homestay prison training with a washed up cage fighter. She deserved the best.
I turned the shower on as hot as it would go and stripped, dumping my clothes on the floor. As the room filled with steam, I dunked my head under the searing water, but all it did was bring back all my fears and shortcomings with crystal clarity. Motherfucker...
Letting the water pound into my skin, I pressed my forehead against the tiles, wishing that the memories of that night at Beat would just circle down the drain and be forgotten forever. All I felt was shame. Shame for what I let myself do, shame for what I did afterward and shame for letting it come to that at all.
Closing my eyes, all I could see were the images I’d tried to forget but couldn’t. That was another reason I’d stopped taking the meds that the doctor gave me. They made me dream something fierce. Dreams of blood, dreams coated with all things red...
Maybe now that Ren knew; I could leave it behind. Maybe the memories would go away for good.
Turning off the shower before Ishriveledinto a prune, I toweled myself dry and pulled on a pair of shorts, wondering if she was still here after I’d dumped all of that shit on her. She’d asked, but it was a motherfucking loaded question. Yanking on a T-shirt I’d left hanging over the edge of the laundry basket, I decided that I’d give her some breathing room if that’s what she needed.
When I opened the bathroom door, Ren was sitting on the end of the bed waiting for me and I shook my head. She was forever surprising me. She was still here and still fighting like the Spitfire I knew she was. Fucking beautiful.
She glanced up at the sound of my approach and stood to face me. Her features were full of something too perfect to even hope was true. She didn’t say anything as I stood there staring, she just stepped forward and pressed her body against mine, running her hand along the collar of my T-shirt.
“Ren,” I whispered, trying to hold it together. Fuck, I just wanted to flip her back onto the bed and touch her everywhere. I wanted to do more than touch.
Her gaze dropped to my mouth and it was the thing that tipped me over the edge. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers, my entire body coming alive.
Ren’s arms snaked around my neck and she sighed into me, her fingertips burying into the hair at the nape of my neck. Her lips parted and her tongue grazed my bottom lip, the taste of her igniting all the feelings I’d been trying to keep at arms length.
Hungry for more, I licked into her mouth, deepening the kiss to unbearable levels and she met me halfway, holding me to her with a force that I’d forgotten she possessed. The Spitfire I’d longed for was coming back to life in my arms and fuck it felt good. It felt so good that my cock stiffened against her belly.
Fuck, what I wouldn’t give...
Ren moaned into my mouth as we kissed, the sound reverberating right through me. My hands slid down her back and cupped her ass, holding her against me as she rolled her hips into my groin, giving away that she was just as turned on.
Pulling back before I pushed too hard, I turned away, breathing heavily. This wasn’t about me, I couldn’t care less. This was about her happy ending and I’d do whatever it took to give it to her. I had to stop being such a selfish prick.
I didn’t know how to vocalize it all, so I just blurted it out. “It’s not my story, Ren. It’s yours.”
“Oh don’t be daft,” she declared. “It’s not my story. It’s ours.”
I glanced at her as she came to stand beside me, her cheeks flushed from our kiss, and without thinking, I reached up and cupped her face in my hand.
Maybe, just maybe, things would get better.
Maybe in time Ren would be mine again.
