Page 49 of Pulse
“Coach saw me standing in the door staring like a fuckin’ idiot and was about to slap me around the ear, but when he came over he didn’t kick me out like I was expecting. He brought me inside and asked why I wasn’t in school. I dunno.” He shrugged. “Your dad seems to have a way with people. He scared the crap outta me and I told him everything. About school and about getting into fights all the time. I told him about how angry I always got. I don’t know what he saw in me, but he didn’t send me back or demand to call my parents. He just took me in and let me watch the fighters training until it was time to go home.”
“Shit, I didn’t know he could be like that.”
“Your dad’s pretty awesome Ren. I know he did wrong by you, but he was like a Dad to me.”
I smiled wryly. Things had gotten a lot better in the last year with him, but I’d never known the man that Ash held in such high regard. I’d seen glimpses, especially when I’d told him I was dropping out of pro.
“What happened next?” I asked.
“I kept going back, wagging school and getting into trouble and he made me a deal. He would teach me how to fight the right way, like a real man, and in exchange I had to go back to school and work hard, get good marks and not get suspended or expelled again. If I did, then I wasn’t allowed back.”
“What did you do?” I asked, so enraptured by his story that I’d stopped sparring ages ago.
“Everything he said,” Ash replied, dropping his hands. “What I didn’t understand until later was that by learning how to fight and take care of my body, itchanneledmy anger. Things got better after that. I still had problems, but as long as I could focus on fighting in a ring with a referee and training, I was okay. I am okay.”
I stared at him for a long moment, not knowing what to say. I figured his story might be something along those lines, but I’d never dared to ask.
“Stoplookin’ at me like that,” he mumbled, rolling his head and cracking his neck.
“That’s a pretty great story,” I said.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
He shuffled from foot to foot and it was his turn to look uncertain. So much bloody uncharted territory.
“What?” I asked. “I guess it’s your turn to ask me something now, so out with it.”
Ash dumped the focus pads onto the mat by his feet. “Shouldn’t you be flying to Sydney or something?” he asked.
I knew this was coming...I shook my head.
“What did you rank?”
“Number two. I gave it up.”
He stared at me, not sure which of the two statements he wanted to chase the most.
“You gave up pro?” he asked. “Why?”
“That was Dad’s dream,” I said. It was as simple as that. “I’m good at fighting, but it doesn’t mean that I wanted to take it that seriously.”
“Then why did you go along with it?”
I shrugged. “It was easier than trying to feel something else. Fighting…” I sighed, rubbing my eyes. Ash knew why I needed to fight; his reasons were much the same. We both had beasts inside that needed to be fed.
“What?” he whispered, prodding me to continue.
“You really have to ask?”
He nodded, reaching up and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. It was such a gentle gesture for him, I almost pleaded him to curl his fingers against my scalp and tug.
“Maybe I wasn’t made for pro,” I said. “Maybe I was made for something a little darker.”
“The Underground?”
I nodded.
