Page 96 of Pulse
“Why are you being so nice to me?”
“Why are you being so hard on yourself?”
I sighed. “Point.”
“I know we never worked out as a couple, but I like to think I’m not that kinda guy. You know, the one who dumps a girl just because she doesn’t feel the same way. You can’t help the way you feel.” He nodded to the empty cafe. “Have a seat and I’ll be out in a sec.”
There was no way I could or wanted to argue with that. Seth was the good kind, the stuff of fairy tales. If I had of felt the same way about him, then life would’ve been easy. Uncomplicated and predictable, but it wasn’t what my heart wanted.
While he made us up a couple of drinks, I sat at the table near the window, the one Josie and I always used to sit at. It was familiar and calm and exactly what I needed.
A moment later, Seth sat a mug of hot chocolate, and some marshmallows on the side, in front of me.
“I’m sorry I haven’t seen you much lately.” I curled my hands around the hot mug, even though it was pushing on blistering outside.
He sat across from me setting down his latté. “I get it Ren, I told you. Don’t worry about it.”
“It’s just… I’ve got caught up in things with Ash and stuff…”
“Stuff?” He eyed me and I cast my gaze away.
I ran my hand through my loose hair, shoving it away from my face. “There’s a lot riding on the next few weeks…”
“Shit,” Seth exclaimed and leaned forward, pushing my hair back from my temple. “Is that a bruise?”
I shrugged his hand away and let my hair fall back again. “It’s nothing.”
“Ren, it’s fucking black.” His eyes narrowed and he said, “Was that from fighting or did-”
I didn’t let him finish that sentence. “No,” I hissed. “He would never hurt me like that.”
“Then it was from a fight?”
“Occupational hazard,” I retorted.
“Ren.”
If I was going to tell someone about it, it may as well be Seth. He didn’t know all the players so he might actually get it. “I was knocked out.”
“Fuck. Are you okay? Did you get checked out?” His alarm for my well being kinda brightened me a little.
“I’m okay. It hurt for a little while, but I’m okay.”
He grabbed my hand and curled his fingers around mine and I stared at our joined hands, not sure what to do.
“It’s dangerous Ren,” he said. “People die from just falling over and hitting their head the wrong way. What makes this any different?”
“I can handle it,” I muttered.
“Can you? Because it looks like it’s eating you up.”
It was. How could I explain it without telling him the whole story? I couldn’t.
“It’s a set back,” I said instead. “It happens to everyone at least once.” I echoed Ash’s words and if I said them enough, maybe I’d believe them. Believe him.
The door swept open behind us and the bell jingled furiously, and when I turned in my chair it was already too late. Ash fisted his hands into Seth’s shirt and pulled him out of his seat, wrenching his hand from mine.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I yelled, stumbling to my feet.
