Page 11 of Crash
“What?” It was out my mouth before I could stop myself.
His eyes met mine, and he simply said, “Shoulder.”
Hewasinjured just likeRen’dsaid, and that was the only reason he was here. I didn’t want to feel deflated, but I did. To think it’d crossed my mind that he’d come here in hopes of seeing me. Stupid childhood crushes died hard, it seemed. Reading hundreds of romance novels while I stuck my head in the sand didn’t help anything either.
We stood awkwardly for a moment, and I choked out, “I’m sorry.”
Lincoln shrugged. “It happens.” He paused, running a hand through his hair. “Are you okay?”
It was then that I’d realized my panic attack had subsided and had been replaced with something else. Attraction, lust, desire…and Iwasn’tsure how to handle it.
“Violet?”
I glanced up and forced a smile. “Yeah. I just needed some air.”
“In the office?” he asked with a frown.
Screwing my eyes shut, I shook my head. “Space.I mean, I needed some space.”
He shifted from one foot to the other, his expression changing. Focusing enough to become more present, I found myself giving him the once over. He was dressed much like Ash, in a dark suit and shirt, but he hadn’t gone as far as to select a tie. His collar was open, and I stared at his naked throat, my mind wandering to dangerous territory.
“I can leave,” he said after a moment.
This was not how I pictured my first actual adult conversation with Lincoln Hayes. I felt embarrassment flare, my cheeks heating to inferno levels.
“It’s okay,” I muttered, backing away. “I was just going…”
Turning, I fumbled with the door handle and pushed out into the hall, knowing I’d probably just blown any chance I ever had with the guy in those thirty seconds. He now thought I was crazy.Totally bloody insane.What was I expecting anyway? I didn’t even know the guy anymore, and I certainly didn’t know him that well before either.
Knowing I was in the deep end with no hopes of recovery, I wanted to go home.
Stumblingdown the stairsandback into the party,Isearched for Ash, weaving through the masses of people milling around getting pissed on his dime. I hugged my arms around my middle, keeping my gaze averted, dodging when somebody came within touching distance. Yeah, I was certifiably mental.
Spotting Ash in the distance, talking to a group of people, I made straight for him. I hated what I was about to do, but I couldn’t help it…could I? Maybe tonight was too much of a big step.
Tugging on Ash’s arm, I said, “I’m going home.”
Turning away from his conversation, he frowned. “You okay?”
I nodded, swallowing hard, my eyes darting to the floor. “I just…”
“It’s okay,” he replied, winding an arm around my waist. “I’ll get you a taxi. Is that cool? I’ve kinda gotta stick around.”
“Yeah.” I sighed. “I’m sorry, Ash. I tried, I really did…”
“It’s okay, squirt.” He hugged me tight as we weaved through the mass of bodies. “The fact that you made it inside at all is fuckin’ huge. I’m proud of you.”
Cool air hit my face as we stepped outside, chasing away the burn in my cheeks. What was normal anyway? Nil social anxiety and the ability to string a sentence together in front of the guy you liked. At the thought of my brief encounter with Lincoln, I closed my eyes, willing the tears that threatened to fuck off. While I’d stood in the kitchen the other day, staring at those stupid romance books, I’d decided it was time for something good in my life. I knew I had to fight and that it would be hard, but I didn’t think it would be so humiliating. Happy endings? How could I have one of those if I couldn’t even look at a man?
As I stood out on the footpath waiting for Ash to call a taxi, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was ever going to get better. Maybe this was it. Violet Fuller was a scared, social reject and nothing was ever going to change.
It was an alarming thought.
Four
Lincoln
The door closed behind Violet, and I blinked hard, lost for words.
