Page 29 of Crash
“I mean, if you need anything. Anytime…” He trailed off with a shrug.
Confusion began to cloud my thoughts. Anytime? What, like a fucking child? Ash had said something to him even after I’d asked him not to, I was sure of it. Annoyance began to replace the confusion.
“I’m okay,” I said more firmly.
“Well, I’ll give you my number in case you need anything.” Lincoln grabbed a pen and scrawled on top of a Post-it note before peeling it off and sticking it to the edge of the computer screen. “Just in case.”
I stared at the little yellow square, a little disappointed that my brother had to put the hard word on the guy to get him to give me his number…and even then it was only to ‘look out’ for me.
“Thanks.”
“Hey,” he said like it was an afterthought. “Did you want grab some lunch later?”
He was asking me to lunchnow? Lincoln didn’t want me like that. He’d already dismissed me and that hurt, but to sit there and have lunch with him? He was just asking because of Ash. It was my brother’s MO to make sure I was looked after, and Lincoln wanted to please him. He was his boss after all. It had nothing to dowith me and everything to do with what he could get out of it professionally.
I glanced up at him and found him waiting expectantly. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t sit opposite him and deal with the empty hole inside my chest for a full hour. At least up here I could ignore him and the stupid feelings he’d ignited inside me.
I shook my head. “No, thank you.”
Something I didn’t understand flashed through his features. It was so fast I almost didn’t catch it.
He tapped his hand on the doorframe and shrugged. “Alright.”
Without saying anything else, he closed the door behind him softly, and I was left alone once more. Alone. It was a cruel word.
Turning in my chair, I stared at the Post-it note.What was wrong with me?
I wanted to talk to someone who wasn’t Ash or Ren and definitely not Dr. Ormond. If I was being totally honest with myself, I wanted to talk to Lincoln. I wasn’t afraid of him touching me, not anymore, I was afraid of him leaving. But I keep pushing against him, and one day when I turn around, he won’t be there anymore. That’s the bit I was afraid of—missing my chance and being left alone.
Maybe he didn’t realize I liked him. Maybe he was just trying to be nice. Maybe that’s all it took to get started.
Dr. Ormond had said to ask him.To try.That’s what regular peopledid,they put themselves on the line and asked. A wave of confidence spiked, and I felt my blood begin to hum.
Pushing my chair back, I strode out of the office and went downstairs into the gym like one of those girls from my books taking a chance on the guy they liked. I just had to put myself out there and everything would work out, right? Have confidence and believe.
I’d ask him to lunch, say I’d reconsidered, and we’d talk and just…get started. The notion filled my head and heart, and for once in my life, it felt like it was within reach.‘It’ beinghappiness.
Casting my gaze across the floor, I stilled as I found Lincoln over on the mats. I was drawn to him like a magnet, my heart swelling, and I took a determined step forward. That’s when I saw Andrea.Perfect Andrea with her perfect hair, her perfect body and her perfect smile.I froze, my expression falling, and this unbelievable wave of despair crashed into my tiny spark of confidence and overwhelmed it.
His hands were around her ankles as she powered through a bunch of sit-ups, her face not even changing from the stupid smile she wore. She liked his attention…sheliked him. He was saying something to her and she laughed, and it was like fucking bells tinkling. How could I compete with that? I couldn’t.
Frowning, I turned away. They looked perfect together.
Suddenly, I didn’t feel so hungry anymore.
Eleven
Lincoln
I’d been expecting her to say yes.
But she was Violet Fuller and nothing was ever on par with her. She was all over the place, but I could hardly blame her for that. Ash was right on the money when he’d said that she was stubborn as all fuck. At the mere mention of wanting to look out for her, she’d clammed up and instantly bristled. I didn’t give a fuck what she said. There was still a spark inside of her.
Cole and Ryan had left half an hour ago, and the idiots hadn’t cleaned up after themselves, so I was left to put away their weights. I bashed about, frustrated as all hell, as I put everything back in its right place, cursing the bastards, but in reality it all stemmed down to sexual fucking frustration.
I was used to getting what I wanted. I’d make my intentions clear and that would be it. I’ve never had to work for it, and especially not with a woman who seemed to be afraid of the entire fucking world.
Glancing up as I heard footsteps echo through the empty gym, I caught sight of Violet. She turned the corner and hurried across the open space to the back door, her head down.Fuck, Violet.
