Page 40 of Crash
Dr. Ormond leaned forward. “No?”
“Something happened…” I trailed off, my mind going back to last night at the gym. Heartbreak.Lincoln andher.Not me.Her.
“Violet?”
I glanced up at Dr. Ormond and knew she was only trying to help. Whether itwas only because I paid her to or she really was that invested, remained to be seen.
“He was having sex with another woman.” I felt embarrassed even saying it.
“Who?”
“Lincoln.”
“At the gym?”
I nodded. “In the change room. I didn’t see, but I heard…”
“And what did you do?” she asked kindly.
“They saw me afterward… I ran.” An image of Lincoln on the footpath as the taxi drove off appeared in my mind. His hands were buried in his hair. He’d look distraught that I’d heard them. Maybe it was because he’d wanted it to be me he fucked, or maybe it was just an excuse to butter me up so Ash wouldn’t fire him.
“How did it make you feel?”
I glanced at Dr. Ormond. Shit.All kinds of things.“Inadequate. Heartbroken.”
“The other woman—”
“She’s beautiful. Confident, fit.” I interrupted.
“Everything you think you’re not?” Dr. Ormond asked.
I shrugged. She’d hit the nail on the head. “She’s a customer at the gym.”
“Well, that’s grounds for dismissal, I think.”
I stared at her and shook my head. “I wouldn’t…”
“You wouldn’t report him?”
I shrugged, glancing down at my hands.
“Do you think you might be fixating on him?” she asked gently. “He’s the first person, other than your brother and his girlfriend, who showed you kindness after the attack.”
I’d thought that myself but maybe hearing it from good old Dr. Ormond was what I needed to solidify it.
“This is so messed up,” I said, hiding my face in my hands. “He tried to apologize, and he touched me on the shoulder… I pulled away so fast… I wasn’t expecting it…”
“Touching is a part of human nature, Violet.”
“I know, it’s just…” I took a deep breath. “He’s never really touched me before. Not on purpose. I think I scared him off for good.”
Dr. Ormond regarded me for a moment and scrawled in her notebook.
“If he wants to apologize, maybe you should let him,” she said after a moment. “After all, he’s only going to be working there for a few more weeks. Is that right?”
I nodded, my mind going over all the things that had happened between Lincoln and me since he’d reappeared in my life. The most vivid of the bunch was the night I’d lain on my bed and touched myself while thinking about him. It was the thought of his hand, notHammer’s, thathad allowed me to orgasm after all this time. That had to mean something despite everything else.
“Do…” I trailed off, not knowing how to ask the million-dollar question.
