Page 61 of Crash
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Dr. Ormond’s office was looking brighter tonight. Nothing had changed decor wise, but I guess things looked better when you were happy. Misery had clouded my world with monotone, and suddenly, everything was switching to Technicolor.
“How are you this week?” she asked from her usual perch in the large leather armchair.
I sat on the couch, my hands folded together on my lap. “I had a date with Lincoln the other night.”
Dr. Ormond was smiling at me, and honestly, it was creeping me out.
“You went out on a date with Lincoln?” she asked.
I nodded. “He came over to the house and cooked me dinner.”
“That’s a great first step, Violet.”
“We talked about a lot of things,” I said. “Mostly about before, when we were teenagers.” For once, she didn’t have to work my thoughts out of me.
“Good. What else did you talk about?”
“I told him that I wanted to try.” I glanced away and began worrying the hem of my jumper until the stitching began to loosen.
“Try having sex?”
I closed my eyes. The way she just said things like that. Sex. It was so…clinical.
“Violet?”
“Yeah.” I swallowed before continuing. “We’ve kissed…a lot. I know it’s only been a week or so…”
“Maybe you should think about slowing down. You don’t have to try so soon in a relationship. You said he knows about what happened to you. Surely he would understand if you wanted to wait.”
I glanced up at her. Slowing down? I understood that it might be too much too soon, but with Lincoln and Sydney—I felt like it was now or never.
“Yeah, he understands,” I said. “But…”
“You said he has to go back to Sydney eventually,” Dr. Ormond said. “Maybe some distance is a good thing. I can tell you’re putting a negative connotation onto it, Violet. Distance doesn’t have to mean the end. Does he want to continue the relationship?”
“We haven’t really talked about it,” I replied, my heart beginning to sink.
“Then you should discuss it with him. Uncertainty is most likely going to get you into trouble, Violet. It promotes negative thought patterns. Voice your concerns to Lincoln, and tell him how you feel. From what you’ve told me about him, it seems very likely he will understand.”
I nodded, not knowing what to say to that. “Okay.”
“It’s just a suggestion, Violet,” Dr. Ormond said kindly. “I’m here to guide you and to listen. Everything I offer is advice. You have to make your own decisions based on that.”
I nodded again like a broken record.
“Don’t forget how far you’ve come these past few months. How long has it been since you started work at your brother’s gym?”
“Three months.”
“And you’ve made more progress in those short few months than you have the entire time you’ve been coming to my office. Never lose sight of the journey, Violet.”
My nerves began to calm as I realized the scope of what she was saying. I’d left the house, I’d gone to help Ash at Pulse and I’d found Lincoln. All monumental things, but I could pinpoint it all to one moment. The day I’d stood in the kitchen looking at the pile of romance novels on the counter.I had to get out of the house or wither away in darkness.
Dr. Ormond was right. I had come a long way.
Twenty-Five
