Page 69 of Crash
“Isn’t that a good thing?” After so much time being awkward and shy around him, it was liberating being so free in his company.
“It’s a very good thing.”
I stepped closer, drawn to him like a magnet.
“Want to try something more?” he asked.
“Like what?”
“Showering…together.”
He moved behind me, his chest pressing into my back. A dark memory exploded into my mind as I felt his crotch against my ass, and I twisted away.
“Vee?”
I bent over at the waist and wrapped my hands around my knees, breathing heavily. It was only a little panic attack, but things had been going so well I’d hoped I was rid of them for good. Fat fucking chance. Things were never going to be that easy.
“Vee?” Lincoln asked again, his voice full of concern.
“It’s okay,” I whispered, lowering myself to the floor.
Lincoln folded his big form onto the mat beside me, keeping distance between our bodies. Close, but not close enough to touch. “What happened?”
I closed my eyes and gathered my thoughts. We’d have to talk about it eventually. That night. Sooner or later, things would escalate and we’d try to have sex. What would happen if I freaked out on him, right at the last second? There was frustration and then there wasfrustration.
“When—” I took a deep breath, my words already beginning to burn. “When he…”
“Violet,” Lincoln said firmly, “You don’t have to—”
“Please,” I interrupted. “Please, just let me say this. It’s important.”
He sighed heavily, placing his hands on the mat on either side of me.
Taking a deep breath, I murmured, “When he attacked me…it was from behind. Like that.”
“Then, I won’t do that again. Just tell me when it’s too much, okay?”
I smiled. He just kept surprising me. For a fighter, he sure was the epitome of a sensitive new age guy.
“Okay,” I replied.
He grinned wickedly. “So…you’re telling me I have to be the little spoon?”
Despite myself, I burst out into laughter. “Lincoln.”
Placing his big hands onto my thighs, he said, “Got you to laugh.”
“I guess it’s good that you already know.”
“Why do you say that?”
I grimaced. “I can avoid spelling out all the awkward detailsevery timeI freeze up when things get too far.”
“It wouldn’t have mattered,” he said.
The darkness that had threatened to overwhelm me had faded into the background, and the Violet I had been trying to breathe life into surfaced. “Do you want to take that shower?”
“Fuck, yeah.” Taking my hand, he led me upstairs, through my room and into the bathroom beyond.
